Freedom Of Choice – The Chosen Goes Clix For Nix.

I am not a tidy person. Over Christmas I reached a crisis of confusion in which whatever job I wanted to do, I could not find the kit to do it. When stuff is piled so high you can’t see the hoover, you have an issue. Worst of all was my work space. It had become so cluttered that I could no longer work. I thought of writing a story about a kid who gets lost in his own front room, something like Harry Trotter And the Pig-Sty Of Doom. 

A couple of days ago I attacked at dawn. I got out the garden incinerator and had a bonfire of the insanities. First to go was the accumulated school-work of three kids. It was amazing to learn that 20 years ago they were doing stuff at school that I thought was still in the future. I was delighted to learn from a religious education test that a prophet was an old word for a sharp business man and that a disciple was a man who followed another man in the street. The pupil is at University now, but not doing theology. 

I’ve been smokin’ with my pokin’

All of this is nothing to do with anything really. But it’s that time of year when we rip it all down and let in the fresh air. I will confess to some sentimental moments as I fed the flames. After two days I unearthed the hoover and my desk. There’s gonna be no stopping me now!

First up is my free days on Amazon KDP for my short story “The Chosen“.(Separate link for Amazon UK)  It’s a regular tale of two low level semi criminals trying to go straight in a world that’s bent against them. Oscar Sparrow did the audio. My free days on “Knockout” reached about 8,000 readers. Once I have the full analysis I’ll do a scribe-a-thon techno de-brief of follow up sales etc. For now, let’s see if I can get some visibility for this very grungy tale of lust in the dust….please…it’s FREE. Buddy, can you dime a spare?……

Emma Thinx: You burn souvenirs. Memories burn you. 







Guest Blogger Oscar Sparrow

 A glorious blue sky winter Sunday. There is beauty on this Earth and perhaps we are the only entities of the universe to possess the emotional and intellectual pathways to discern it. In the bare trees around me, the merciless crows scrabble for nothing other than survival and dominance. Unlike mankind, they know not cruelty but only indifference. Surely we are both saved and shamed by beauty for what we do is in its presence. Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going? Gauguin did not know and we are no nearer the answer today. 

The poet Oscar Sparrow loves to quote these lines. He comes to mind because his collection “I Threw A Stone” is free today on Amazon KDP.  I am delighted to use my little blog to display his own take on the matter. Don’t forget there is a full audio track for free with the e-book. Any one who witnessed him revealing his “Erectile Dysfunction” at the Bedford Festival of Romance now has the chance to re-live the moment. 

I threw a stone cover for AmazonA few years ago I went to a public auction with a friend who was looking for some furniture. Whilst we were waiting for his lot to come up, an enormous quantity of cuddly toys came under the hammer. It seemed that it was the entire contents of a bankrupted shop. The price started somewhere at the edge of the cosmos and came down to something I could afford by raking about amongst the fluff covered boiled sweets in the sofa. Within a few seconds I owned several hundred cuddly giraffes, tortoises and some things that looked like socially disadvantaged wildebeest at the end of a hard day in the stampede.  I applied for a pedlar’s certificate and set out on a career as a door to door salesman. The giraffes and tortoises flew out of my sack. I sold only one wildebeest to a guy spaced out on wacky baccy who thought it was an alien.
Plan B in my retail conquest of the planet was a market stall. That weekend I was at the town tat-fest with my trestle table loaded with cuddly alien cattle. I figured that since the goods were not selling I would offer them at 50 pence each. After lunch I reduced the price to zero but still the poor beasts could find no homes. Then, a fellow trader wandered over and looked at the creatures and declared that they were from a top designer label and that by giving them away, people thought they were junk. Accordingly I increased the price to £5 and added a sign saying “Top Designer Brand”. By dusk, the herd of alien wildebeest had gone. I shared the spoils with a guy who had lent me a truck to transport them and the market stall authorities. There was enough left for a good old fish and chip nosh up and a week’s  caravan holiday. (It rained and the kids were sick). So much for my flirtation with Capitalism.
So it is with some worldly experience that my poetry collection “I Threw A Stone”  is offered for free until the close of play on the 18th December. It is of course a top designer brand. So far I have shifted one copy in the UK and have zoomed up 900,000 places in the charts. Sales are probably not helped by the fact that Amazon UK have removed all but one review apparently on the basis that people liked the book. (One could become quite annoyed about all this but poet karma keeps my thoughts on a higher plane).
Here are the links.
There we are then – Roll up! Roll up! There ya go my love, cheap at half the price me old China, perk ya selves up wiv a poem or two. Roll up! Roll up .

Emma thinx: See with your inner eye. Hearing is believing. 

Hot Chick Gives It Away

Now, that got you interested did it not. OK fellow scribes, I’m trying something new. Once upon time in the land of Amazon KDP Select one could paper the house with free tickets and spread the word. And the word was Sales. My own experience was initially positive but with the change of algorithms and a new Amazon recipe containing 3D humble stumble potion, red sales headed for the sunset.

Now has come the idea of gifting your book to people who really want it. Using The Reader’s Guide To E Publishing (RG2E), it is possible to feature your book for the day. This site offers free books. The down side is that the author pays for them! However, much of this money will come back to you via your Amazon sales and the cost is far less than conventional advertising which will only sell you a few books if you are lucky. Of course, you are free to adjust your price in advance of your offer. In the UK such costs are fully tax deductible. 

Another advantage is that you are asking people to choose books they like. With KDP I found that there was a download frenzy like anorexic mackerel swallowing silver paper. A few would then submit reviews within an hour beginning “I hate this kind of book and could only read three pages”.  

Today, RG2E are featuring “The Chosen”, my short tale of roguish aspiration. The idea is to get a bump up the charts. Let us see what happens. You will be among the first to know and I won’t charge a cent.

Emma thinx: Rarely is freedom given.