Putting Some #Free Love And Sex On Your Tablet pic.twitter.com/QP68aAdQV #romance

Cop on the cover – definitely NOT undercover!



I could not believe my ears. I was driving along listening to “Woman’s Hour on the BBC radio. The presenter announced the result of the latest official sex survey in the UK. People are having less and less sex! They are having less sex than in Victorian times which was before evolution had provided polite ladies with any orgasmic bits. (Didn’t they have hands or curiosity?)

 The official reason is that the tablet and the smart phone are our true love mates. We even play with them in bed. The result is that on average folk are doing it THREE TIMES A MONTH. 

Now, without shocking you with my domestic survey stats I feel I can speak as an active writer of Romantica. The production process requires a fair bit of imaginative role play. Serious academic literary critics call this unashamed erotic fantasy. You can imagine the state of me at the end of a hard day. Three times a month wouldn’t get me through a couple of scrappy chapters of drugs, crime and car chases. I’ve always wondered why writing about sex makes me feel sexy but writing about burglary doesn’t make me want to steal other people’s televisions.

At once I realised something had to be done. I had to save the British nation from further decline. I knew it would be impossible to convince lovers not to take their digital devices to bed. Of course the answer was simple; supply everyone with a free copy of  Passion Patrol 2. It wouldn’t be long before the manhood of Britain would rise up and the ladies would lie back and think of England as they did in the time of sexy Queen Victoria. 

And, if you believe the reviews it’s a thumping good tale of action, crime, love and sexual pleasure set in the crucible of race, class and wealth of modern Britain.

Emma Thinx: The idea of free love is for those who’ve never loved.




#AlexFromTarget Goes Canine pic.twitter.com/tztvTfGb8q

You can call me Alex

OK – this is true. A teenage girl in Texas sees a hot guy in a Target store. She gets a picture of him and sends it to her friend. Somehow it goes viral in a way that makes Ebola seem like evolution in slow motion. The world goes into a frenzy of joy, lust and greed. Alex from Target is the hottest commercial property on the planet. They’re making a video game and branding cosmetics in his image and name. Ghost writers are queuing to write his life story. Offers of film stardom…..blah blah blah. Even French TV knocks President Hollande off the top of the News to cover the story. 

. Viral Alex It’s a dog’s life at the checkout



OK – this is true. A romantic novelist in France sees the cutest ever dog at a restaurant. She takes a snap and puts it on her blog. She waits. Let’s see the true power of the internet. Believe me – this pooch had real tight balls and wasn’t afraid to walk around with them sticking out. You don’t get that in Target.




Emma Thinx: Pursuit of the trivial is a game called business. 






Flowery Prose

Sure heats up the deep frying pagan in me. My Phoebus has sent me an earthly orgy of icons to contemplate

I’m at home in St. Savinien sur Charente never far from the Angelus bells of the eponymous eglise. Oooh – I do love a bit of the old Eponomy. I think there might be a publishing platform of the same name. They often invite me to do things. I’m not sure what and I’ve never gotten round to doing it. 


It’s like a landscape painting at every moment of the river

I’m just putting up a few pictures of my beautiful town. The air is heavy with the perfume of flowers. The swallows swoop and swerve back and forth along the surface of the flowing emerald Charente river. After a shower the air is warm and saturated with that deep lust of kisses, wine, fertile musk of passion and the warm plop plop spatter of cow dung. It’s a damask bath of purple prose sprinkled with succulent seed laden fruit and wasps. You know – one day I’m gonna stick all this stuff in a saucy novel and send it to Eponomy. 


Alleys of the world – ALLEZ!

Even a stroll to the local boulangerie takes me along an alley like many others. It is all so close to paradise that I get that urge to try out some original sin. The closest I’ve got so far is nibbling the newly baked bread before I get it home although once I scoffed two of the pains au chocolat. I told the family they’d only had two left. Well, they did when I’d subtracted two. 

Emma Thinx: To flower is mortality. To bloom is mentality.










Chinese Lantern

And here I am in France. The great cycle race ended in Paris on Sunday and like so many cycling fans and half the population of France a void has opened before me.  

This year has been one of the most remarkable ever. The two main favourites crashed out in the early stages. The eventual winner was Vincenzo Nibali, a somewhat enigmatic Italian. His top position on the Parisian podium was completely eclipsed by the greater victories of two French riders in second and third places. A French commentator interviewing the champion asked: “Well done for your win of course, but you have to concede you had the strongest team. I imagine you are very proud to have ridden with so many fabulous French riders…”

The diplomatic champion acknowledged their triumph. The studio anchor man told the Nation “We are not chauvinists! We are patriots!”


Chinese Lantern Ji Cheng

For now French cycling is on a high. I’m hoping more young folk will be pulling on their Lycra, shaving their legs and turning away from the cigarettes. Also, Chapeau to the guys who won second and third places -Jean Christophe Peraud and Thibault Pinot. To me they all are heroes and champions particularly the Chinese rider Ji Cheng who was the last guy home. Although technically the red lantern at the back of the field, he was a visible player, often in breakaways. He was a marvel and a credit to China. From my pinnacle of fame as a romantic novelist clinging on in invisibility at the back of the book-bashing peleton, I salute you. 

In my day job as an audio editor and producer I have also been immersed in the Tour de France. I have just completed an audiobook narrated by Oscar Sparrow entitled The Tour de France – The Inside Story. Written by Les Woodland, a consummate writer of the polished professional journalistic school, it reflects his own passion for cycling and shares the inside track on those great men who gave birth to the Tour and those who then sustained its legend. It is a fascinating nine-hour account filled with human flavour, foibles and falibility. We did a video clip to show our own way of working on such a project. It’s a great read and an even better listen.


If you want to get a free download of this insight into cycling (worth $19.95/£14.95), whether you’re a fan or not, in exchange for an honest review, leave a message below and I’ll send you your own code for Audible…


Emma Thinx: The French do have a a word for chauvinism




Bargain Books. Words Are Cheap.

Who am I? What is this Amazon thing?

I have the honour to write features for a “lifestyle” magazine. Recently the editor edged me into a side room. She confided that the trouble with my writing was that I used words. What people actually wanted was more pictures. In a forced outdoor flash I knew where I had been going wrong. For too long I had been trying to walkie-talkie the ball into the net. It was a Eureka moment almost equal to yesterday when David Beckham met an Amazonian Indian who had never heard of him. Dave – chill! No one at Amazon has ever heard of me and I’ve been lost in their jungle for years. 

It’s politics – it’s our National Y Front.


Okay – here is the deal. I’m having a big push to sell some books. This blog has nothing at all to do with David Beckham. If you read this Dave, get in touch for free copies of all my books. We Londoners need to stick together. After all, I’ve always cheered every swerve of your balls.

My own missions along the Amazon have brought little success. These days I have branched out onto all manner of tributaries. It’s great to see that Dave is getting away from football and doing the same thing.

99c/77p/€0,94 for sexy romance novel SHANNON’S LAW this week only…




Emma Thinx: A word is worth a thousand pictures. It’s your mind.








The Queen Of Hearts, She Made Some Tarts

Queen Tea. She’s a Yorkshire Lass who loves a proper brew. Bloxington Manor in the background.

Well – we launched it. The queen smashed the champagne on the bow and she slid away. So far Shannon’s Law floats on a sea of good reviews. (More please). Soon, I just know, someone will buy a copy. It has to happen.


Mug shot

Thanks so much to all the lovely folk who dropped by. I had tremendous fun making and photographing the scones, buns and sandwiches. I had even more fun chatting about the male hunks who could have displayed on the cover of Shannon’s Law. One day all these guys are gonna rise up and tell us they’re not merely sex objects. My man tells me he’s happy to be seen as a sex subject provided I’m prepared to cooperate on the other side of a transitive verb. I think that means he still desires me. I’ve got a fab editor (Anneli Purchase) who does the hardcore grammar stuff.

Sex Subject.


I asked for your cakes and boy – take a look at these. This is a library! Thanks to Sharon Goodwin of Fiction Addiction Book Tours for sending me her treat. My lovely friend Petra Rovere let me into her poppy seed sensation secrets. What troubles me is that Petra is in Slovenia and knows more English than me. 


Try making an e book to taste better.

Thanks also to Claude Nougat (novelist, linguist, poet, artist, economist, philosopher) for popping in with her ‘vite et bon’ sponge. How does she get time to cook?


With Poppies from Petra.
Claude’s Vite et Bon gateau. 

The whole theme of course was good old fashioned English tea. In the novel, Shannon takes tea with the Earl Spencer as she begins to enter his private world of aristocracy and tradition. He is a troubled and reserved man. Once upon a time he sang Elvis songs and played saxophone. A new sun has come to thaw his blue blood. And yes – it’s a warm red after all.

Whatever the fate of my book I’ve had a lovely time with the launch. I’ve made contact with folk – critics, writers, editors and readers who have helped me all the way. I’ve also had contact with the guys who produce Yorkshire Gold tea. This is not a commercial placement. I adore their tea. It is my day time fuel. OK – after five o’ clock maybe I can slip in the odd vin rouge, or two…… Just like Shannon in my book. 

I went to Bloxington Manor to do some publicity shots. Above is a little link to my tea by the lake.

And that’s a wrap. Shannon’s Law has been a year of my life. I write by hand and it’s a four times edit before it goes to my editor. OK – I know, it needs another edit! Too late, there’s another passion patrol keel on the slipway.

Emma Thinx: Life is a perfect rising cake –  that sticks. 



Shannon’s Law Book Launch Party

It’s launch day. Shannon’s Law is now an item of public discourse. It’s the ball in a touchdown or the cake in a boulanger’s window. The story is of a genteel English lord and a wild child street cop from the de-railed side of the urban tracks. Things start to get cosy when he invites her for tea. He serves sophisticated Earl Grey. She needs a full on proper brew from Yorkshire Gold. She loves his class. He adores her rich satisfying flavour. You kinda get that tingle that it’ll be tea for two in bed some time soon. She’s a strong willed woman. Guess what strength he gives her. 

How else to launch such a steamy tale but with a tea party. There’s gonna be prizes. There’s gonna be music and for sure there’s gonna be tea and cakes. 



On the subject of cakes, I need your recipes. If we get enough, my own publisher – Gallo-Romano Media, will bring out a digital cookbook. All contributors will be credited. The proceeds will all go to the charity the Trussell Trust which organises food banks for needy folk. It is a non denominational Christian organisation which I respect although I have no personal religious faith. So dig out those donuts, roll out those roulades and bung me your buns.

The launch party begins on Facebook at 4pm London time (8am PST, 10am CST,11am EST.) It’s on for four hours and coffee is available throughout too. 

If you can’t make the party there’s prizes to be had here. The draw is on the 7th March so everyone can have a go.
a Rafflecopter giveaway


Emma Thinx: You can’t have your cake and eat it. Always bake a spare.






Why don’t you call me some time?

You can call me Icon

The Pinterest reveal goes on and on. There’s been a glitch with my host blogger but I’ve got a little slice of English village life that I wanted to share in any case. OK – what do you see in every postcard from the UK along with the black taxi cab and the double decker bus? You got it. It’s the red telephone box. 
In Shannon’s Law the parish council of Fleetworth-Green agree to install a second red box but without a phone. Everyone has a mobile device. The phone box forms the perfect privacy and shelter where you can pull out your electronics without fear of rain damage. It’s a classic British compromise.


Love on the phone. It’s easy as A B – See.

If you want to know the full history of the phone box – it is here. To this day, they remain an iconic element of tradition and continuance. My own memories are of standing outside while other lovers poured their boring sweet nothings into the heavy handset. By the time I got in my own passion had cooled but I still loved the old fashioned rotary dial. 

Before I go I do want to share with you a video trailer for a book by the Harper Impulse author Mandy Baggot. Her story, “Made In Nashville” launched recently. It’s a page turner and I’m turning them. The book is about a singer and you can tell the authenticity in the way Mandy writes. She just loves the music.She’s a trouper. She doesn’t hold back. She gives you full music power straight out of her generous talented heart. That’s a star. She’ll be a guest on my blog in the next week.

Emma Thinx: Big up the tip. Mortality will snatch your change. 


My Valentine Poem To The One I Love

My favourite things…


I need to break away from the Shannon’s Law nerves and think a little about Valentine’s day. I know, I know – all the shops are hyped up in full sales target hue and cry. Its lace in your face and blooms down your bloomers all the way to the tills. For all that, it is a festival of love and passion. Someone singles you out from the billions of the world. 


For some, they don’t. When this has been my fate I’ve always kinda smiled at my freedom and all the possibilities ahead. In lonely times there really is a chance to know love by its longing and absence. A writer has to know the power of tears uncried. A lonely love builds and builds towards that someone who is there ahead. 

I’ll be quite honest with you and tell you that the little poem I wrote for Valentine’s day a few years ago was just for me in a lonely time. I know it’s OTT and has all that commercial splurge. All the same that is the world we walk through. I wasn’t trying to be posh. I was trying to express the love I had inside myself to give or that someone had in their heart for me. Hey – they turned up!

There’s a link to YouTube and you can print out the words  if you like them. 
Emma x

Emma Thinx: Without your special love, everyone else has one. When you have it, all those others have nothing.

Shannon’s Law – Bright Star Of The Zodiac

Dagenham Stallion.

The road to blast off edges nearer to the launch tower. The missile is in sight. I’m pulling myself along in my heat proof suit waiting for that shock-wave of searing gas as the first public eyes fall on my sexually abandoned syntax in Shannon’s Law. There’s gonna be trouble, I just know it. I wake up with sweats. 

Nerves? Me?

Today my Pinterest striptease takes me to Venture Galleries which is a classy writer’s resource site where you can pick up all kinds of insight into the business. I’ve been discussing the use of Pinterest as a writer’s tool. The pinned item is nothing less than a beautifully restored Ford Zodiac from the 1960’s. My father had an old one. I’ve waited many years to pay it literary homage. Shakespeare had his Phoebus’s chariot. I have my my stallion of Dagenham. (A famous British Ford car plant). 



Emma Thinx: The nearer you get to something big, the less you see.