Long before there were books there were stories. Long before there were morose writers scribbling in lonely attics there were wonderful outgoing storytellers, drawing in a crowd and creating their illusions.
The popularity of audio books shows us the enduring power of that tradition. And now – I’ve had the chance to join in. Seduction of Combat has been transformed into an audio book by the fabulous actress, presenter and narrator Rebecca McKernan. She’s a one off gorgeous lady – a kind of Mary Poppins in fishnet stockings, a Mona Lisa with a mojito cocktail. She gets through fourteen accents across Europe and the USA – including a guy who has two, depending on where he is.
NOW HEAR THIS. To celebrate the launch, the e-book, Seduction of Combatis going free from 23rd to 27th April. So, ladies and gentlemen, roll up and get a free e-book which will entitle you to a discount on your audio book. Make sure you don’t miss out. Let London cop, Anna Leyton take you on a sexy ride of love and combat across London, Paris, the Mediterranean, Monterey California and New York City.
Seduction of Santa is loaded into the sledge with Rudolph ready to zap a copy down your chimney. Yes, its December 1st with snow in the UK. At 99cents/99 pence it’s the greatest way to warm your heart and get into the Christmas spirit. I’ve put in some hot love, some heartbreak and sprinkled some glitter onto the hard streets of London town. Christmas is a magical time for many but the bare knuckle life of an inner city cop goes on. There is homelessness, hunger and loneliness. Metropolitan police constable Paula Middleton finds herself in a true life Dickensian tale. Tough guy Max Muswell at first stands in her way. There’s nothing more tempting than a present of love wrapped up in danger. Dare she peep inside?
Seduction of Santa. Real London. Real Londoners. Real cop story. Real hot love. Real Christmas.
Now here it is Merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun. Maybe in the USA this ever popular SLADE song is not quite so well known. In the UK it’s the equivalent of the summer cuckoo or the first blown leaf of Autumn. As the Halloween displays are packed away in Walmart, the Christmas songs hit the sound system.
This year I’ve gotten into the act myself. Seduction of Santa is my new Christmas story. It’s number six in my Seduction series. I’ve not made it too long because what woman has any time for herself at Christmas? It’s a story of cops, love and action set on and around the hard streets of London. It’s a spicy mix of crime, lust and loneliness. I also wanted it to take a serious look at some social issues so it’s not just froth and tinsel.
The heroine Paula is a humble cop who also drives a community bus. If you can imagine these guys singing along to Boney M’s Mary’s Boy Child as they cross London Bridge to see the West End lights you’ve got the right stuff inside to love this story.
Paula Middleton, acop respected and loved by all but a woman alone with no one to love. When her heart encounters the tough and wild Max Muswell, she loses her head to a wanton passion. Together or apart they confront the same evil enemies. Will the conflict break them apart or unite them in love for Christmas?
Just wait until I get these heels fitted to my chariot.(photo Independent)
Was Theresa May inspired to call a surprise election by President Erdogan of Turkey when he made his lunge for total power? Will France become a one party nationalist state led by a woman? Will Britain end up the same way? (We’re halfway there).
Guys – it’s not a beauty show – but if you’ve got it…
Oh yes, and a woman takes over at Scotland Yard. It’s all been predicted and now it’s happening.
Checkmate for a Yardbird
Love Bleeds Blue – the thinking woman’s guide to practical lust, sex and politics. Catch the wave before it breaks over your head. At least with a passionate book you’ll drown smiling.
Emma Thinx: There’s nothing pretty about Pollytics.
Being an author I’m genetically perfected to accept setbacks, rejection and disappointment and that’s just making a trip to Walmart. Now and again something happens in life to restore my pre-birth default setting of optimism and belief.
Spending a lot of my life tapping at the screen I’ve gotten through a few digital partners. Male hardware gets a bit shabby but holds up while the micro atoms of the soft porn operating system in their heads end up with psychological viruses and abandoned by the gods who created them. I learned to live with a plain and simple old guy of 95. He was steady enough until they kicked away his walking cane. I left him for dead and took up with Vista. He gave me a wider outlook but one day he crashed. I moved on to Windows 10. He’s tricky, complex and suffers from the blues. I knew there was something going on – he was updating with a younger server somewhere. Behind my back he wiped out my connection and told me I no longer had a valid address. I ditched him. I’m not the kind of girl who can eat off a command prompt menu. If I’d wanted to log in as an administrator I’d have gotten a job at the town hall. The bodies piled up. If I could sell a few more books I could bite that forbidden fruit – an Apple.
Digitally speaking I’m a Ancient Geek. I believe in Zeus and oracles. A voice came to me and whispered “Linux” in my ear. For a while I thought it was a secret formula for Freemasons. The gods told me I could be the new goddess Freya of rebirth and immortality. A Wagner fan like me had to listen. An Amazon woman delivered unto me the gift of life on a stick. I dressed in my goddess overalls of white silk and opened the tomb. One by one I inserted the USB of life into the corpses of my deceased lovers. One by one they rose up. So far there’s no rivalry in my menage a quatre.
Menage a trois – it’s getting crowded in here
I feel like a queen of the noble Ubuntu tribe, not knowing which warrior to caress. I’m writing this is on an old Dell Optiplex GX520 who became incontinent about two years ago. (Far left with small Cyclops green eye). One night he staggered out for an XP and couldn’t get his program to respond.
The secret of life revealed
I know, I know, all those hunky sexy tech types already knew about this stuff – but I didn’t. It’s free and it’s there to help you.
Emma Thinx: If it seems too good to be true it’ll be running Linux.
The champagne smashed into the bow. A vessel riveted together with 104,000 words slipped away to begin its life away from me. Even the Queen was in tears but only because of the onion in her after-party Cheddar sandwich. What do you mean Fake News? You just don’t believe I’d give Her Majesty a cheese sandwich do you?
Much of history is the concoction and revelation of fake news. The English Popish Plot of 1678, the arson of the Reichstag in 1933 and the 2011 European Union ruling on straight bananas spring to my mind. Not only was much of these stories untrue, they were also influential. And there my friends is where Love Bleed Blue offers its tiny voice in the debate. The above video features my police consultant, the English poet Oscar Sparrow. He seems plausible enough to me! He’s what I call a deadpan of mass deception.
It’s only going to cost you 99 cents/99p to grab your copy AND until April 24th you can click the link in the back to claim your sweepstake chance to win a 7 inch Kindle Fire tablet. It’s out there guys! Now it’s over to you.
Emma Thinx: Walk towards the light, don’t throw a shadow on the future.
It’s invitations across the nations. The great novel sits on its slipway. I’ve been out greasing the rails. Odd rough looking types are wandering about with sledge hammers – They’re either the guys who knock out the last wedges or Amazon one star trolls. We’ll soon know.
Please please be there to win prizes, hold my digital digits, shore up the crumbling Leggo castle of my ego or even burrow down into the creative process to know why the hell writers put themselves through this angst.
Dear friends, lusty patriots of imagination land, refined intellectuals, decadent lovers of romantic frenzies and lacy suspenders of disbelief – you are welcomed to my hot hearth for this historic moment. The book is an oversexed duck-billed platypus thrashing in a golden Jacuzzi of satirical minestrone. There’s something for everyone. Well, maybe not quite everyone….I don’t like the look of a couple of those sledge hammer guys.
President and Royals pose with the French Olympic fencing team. Photo credit express.co.uk.
Suddenly everyone is pushing buttons. Theresa May has hit the big Brexit button. World out there – ready or not here we come; or go; or sort of wander about. So far I’ve not been taken as a hostage by the French government in case we don’t pay the 60 billion euros exit paperwork handling fee. (Pesky lawyers). Not sure who pays my fare if I get deported.
Why worry? I’m about to press the launch button on Love Bleeds Blue and if everything goes as planned the royalties would soon get me out of jail.
In the meantime I wrote a modest feature for Impkater magazine. I felt rather humbled to be in such a publication. They’ve got some real scholars and experts I can tell you. I don’t know what to think until I’ve read these guys. Anyway William and Kate – yes the royals – were doing a pre-Brexit Britfest in France. Republican or Royalist you can’t help loving all the glitter and pomp. The French did away with their chance to have shows like this so William and Kate are just showing them what they’ll miss if they’re unfriendly to us. If they don’t give us back our ball they sure won’t be getting any glass slippers from us. AND we’re perfectly capable of making our own cheese to go with Californian wine so my suffering would be manageable.
French Royal Crest. (Wikimedia)
Very often French people whisper to me that they want to bring back the Royals and do away with politicians all together. Now – remember where you heard it first…….Come on now – you didn’t expect Donald or Brexit did you?
Emma Thinx: Good neighbours make good fences. Bad neighbours make good fencers.
Who ever would have thought that my legs would get me to China wearing those shoes? This is just so exciting as Knockout – book 1 in the Passion Patrol series goes live in China. Passion Patrol 2 is in the wings getting ready to launch. I was half hoping that I would get a mention at the National People’s Congress which has just been held in Beijing but I guess they had other important stuff to deal with. I’m just hoping those readers will enjoy the Szechuan hot sauce of Anna and Freddie.
Emma Thinx: Love is the original free trade agreement.
Some part of me is always in Paris. I know she’s a shabby arrogant bitch who would shrug off my impudent fan mail but I just can’t stop writing them. I could tell her she’s just a heap of stones arranged around a muddy river. I could tell her she’s not as French as I am, that her cool gaze was international and more security cordon than cordon bleu. And she would shrug and rain on me, lifting her skirt above the red and grey reflecting cobbles to show a tease of petticoat.
So, for a while I gave up the fan mail. This time I did a whole novel. I know she won’t care.She won’t read it. She’ll sell it secondhand for fifty cents on a Sunday market stall on la rive gauche. I walk in the tear stained footprints of the wasted and decadent greats. I hum along to the metro jazz and long to soften her lips of stone. A woman should not feel this way – but Paris – I love you so so much.
Don’t tell me she’s male. No – Paris knows more of love than any man! Tell me I’m wrong guys – please.
Emma Thinx: In a language with genders go for the plural. Get the max.