Holiday To France Aboard Le Bretagne

gorgeous magician's assistant

I’m the gorgeous blonde in army boots with the handcuffs.

How often do you get to fulfill your fantasies? Well, OK – don’t tell me! (Isn’t life great when you just up and say what you bloody well want). BUT some fantasies just ain’t going to happen – like being a sexy magician’s assistant…….or maybe just a magician’s sexy assistant. The real shame is that my kids were not there to suffer obligatory embarrassment.

So, having traveled from my home in France to England to impart my hard-bitten worldly wisdom to my adult-lite kids in the UK for a couple of weeks, they wiped joyful tears from their eyes as I set sail back to Chateau Calin for Bastille Day on the Brittany ferry Bretagne. There I was, seated in the bar with Oscar, sipping our third or fourth organic vegan diet mineral waters, when Matt Grindley, the famous comedic magician appealed to the audience for a beautiful blonde female assistant to put him in handcuffs. Who else could he have wanted?  He must have read my books. Being a magician he knew I was there!

What a gent he was. He suffered my amateur febrile fumblings to put him in chains, rolled with me on the stage before at last I assisted in his erection – of a tent,  from which he escaped to mass applause. The man is a star and a trouper. I must say also that Brittany Ferries work hard to feature some top acts on their crossings. These guys are true pros who bring  show biz charisma to the journey.  Big Up Matt Grindley

And there’s even more performance to come. From the 18th July for one week all of my Passion Patrol novels are on sale at 99cents/99pence. OK: watch carefully. You take this cloth – you put it over  enough money to buy a cup of Starbucks coffee. You pull away the cloth and Voila – Three whole sexy police suspense action Romance books. Just like that. Magic! http://www.smarturl.it/PPSeriesALL BOOKS 99c-99p.png

 

 

 

 

Queen Launches Love Bleeds Blue

The champagne smashed into the bow. A vessel riveted together with 104,000 words slipped away to begin its life away from me. Even the Queen was in tears but only because of the onion in her after-party Cheddar sandwich. What do you mean Fake News? You just don’t believe I’d give Her Majesty a cheese sandwich do you?

Much of history is the concoction and revelation of fake news. The English Popish Plot of 1678, the arson of the Reichstag in 1933 and the 2011 European Union ruling on straight bananas spring to my mind. Not only was much of these stories untrue, they were also influential. And there my friends is where Love Bleed Blue offers its tiny voice in the debate.  The above video features my police consultant, the English poet Oscar Sparrow. He seems plausible enough to me! He’s what I call a deadpan of mass deception.

kindle fire no backgroundIt’s only going to cost you 99 cents/99p to grab your copy AND until April 24th you can click the link in the back to claim your sweepstake chance to win a 7 inch Kindle Fire tablet. It’s out there guys! Now it’s over to you.PP3 LBB 24 Apr small

Emma Thinx:  Walk towards the light, don’t throw a shadow on the future.

Launch Party: Love bleeds Blue

launch partyIt’s invitations across the nations. The great novel sits on its slipway. I’ve been out greasing the rails. Odd rough looking types are wandering about with sledge hammers – They’re either the guys who knock out the last wedges or Amazon one star trolls. We’ll soon know.

Tomorrow April 3rd at 8 pm London Time I’m exposing myself on Facebook.https://www.facebook.com/events/1398467893530093/

Please please be there to win prizes, hold my digital digits, shore up the crumbling Leggo castle of my ego or even burrow down into the creative process to know why the hell writers put themselves through this angst.

Dear friends, lusty patriots of imagination land, refined intellectuals, decadent lovers of romantic frenzies and lacy suspenders of disbelief – you are welcomed to my hot hearth for this historic moment. The book is an oversexed duck-billed platypus thrashing in a golden Jacuzzi  of satirical minestrone. There’s something for everyone. Well, maybe not quite everyone….I don’t like the look of a couple of those sledge hammer guys.

Emma Thinx:   Be a superstar in your own soup.

 

Brexit Blues and Royals

 

Francois, William and Kate

President and Royals pose with the French Olympic fencing team. Photo credit express.co.uk.

Suddenly everyone is pushing buttons. Theresa May has hit the big Brexit button. World out there – ready or not here we come; or go; or sort of  wander about. So far I’ve not been taken as a hostage by the French government in case we don’t pay the 60 billion euros exit paperwork handling fee. (Pesky lawyers). Not sure who pays my fare if I get deported.

Why worry?  I’m about to press the launch button on Love Bleeds Blue and if everything goes as planned the royalties would soon get me out of jail.

In the meantime I wrote a modest feature for Impkater magazine. I felt rather humbled to be in such a publication. They’ve got some real scholars and experts I can tell you. I don’t know what to think until I’ve read these guys.  Anyway William and Kate – yes the royals – were doing a pre-Brexit Britfest in France. Republican or Royalist you can’t help loving all the glitter and pomp. The French did away with their chance to have shows like this so William and Kate are just showing them what they’ll miss if they’re unfriendly to us. If they don’t give us back our ball they sure won’t be getting any glass slippers from us.  AND we’re perfectly capable of making our own cheese to go with Californian wine so my suffering would be manageable.

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French Royal Crest. (Wikimedia)

Very often French people whisper to me that they want to bring back the Royals and do away with politicians all together. Now – remember where you heard it first…….Come on now – you didn’t expect Donald or Brexit did you?

 

Emma Thinx:  Good neighbours make good fences. Bad neighbours make good fencers.

 

Knockout Punch in China

Chinese legs

These legs were made for walking

Who ever would have thought that my legs would get me to China wearing those shoes? This is just so exciting as Knockout – book 1 in the Passion Patrol series goes live in China. Passion Patrol 2 is in the wings getting ready to launch. I was half hoping that I would get a mention at the National People’s Congress which has just been held in Beijing but I guess they had other important stuff to deal with. I’m just hoping those readers will enjoy the Szechuan hot sauce of Anna and Freddie.

Emma Thinx: Love is the original free trade agreement.

Emma Reveals All: But Only Under The Covers.

 

In France we have just emerged from our shelters as Tempete Zeus blows itself off to the east. I knew we would invoke the power of Zeus when we held our prize draw for the naming of characters in the book, since it was he who drew lots with Hades and Poseidon to get the supreme god job. I did notice the wind was getting up as we were selecting the winners. It’s cops, it’s sex, it’s action, it’s more sex, it’s politics,it’s love, it’s comedy, it’s out on April 3rd. I won’t bang on but here’s a short blurb.

Two women, two forbidden loves, one desperate chance. As the old political certainties of  modern life fragment, two fearless women gamble all to re-unite a country and point a way forward to a world in conflict.
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Well, tell me what you think of it, please.

Emma Thinx: Falling at the first hurdle means you get to shower in peace.

Ageless Love. Gorgeous Grans.

brigitte

Image Published in Dawn, May 1st, 2016

When is love ever wrong? Maybe never. Maybe what I really mean is sex. Well, generally you know when you’ve had sex with someone or even on your own. But LOVE – that poor horse-whipped thoroughbred is far harder to recognise.

In my latest Passion Patrol novel (out soon folks!) there’s my usual sprinkling of indefensibly gratuitous lust. The setting is contemporary France where such matters are often part of the political mix. Even so, some things raise an un-plucked Gallic eyebrow. A few days ago my neighbour and I were discussing the up coming presidential elections in which a front runner is Emmanuel Macron, millionaire banker and ex socialist minister of finance in the Hollande government. In a whisper she told me “His wife is much older – she was his teacher at school. She was thirty eight and he was fifteen.”

Of course nothing happened until he was eighteen but well – it’s all rather lovely isn’t it? Actually it’s all rather stimulating. By the way – she’s a lovely woman. Not sure about him. Readers can expect some up close exploration of this theme. And that’s before we start talking about the leader of the French National Front Marine Le Pen. A lot of men (and women) find her sexy. Who the hell needs politics if we could just have happy sex and a good sexy political  read? Coming soon guys!

marine

Image courtesy Twitter.

Emma Thinx: Politics – what sexy people know as love and what lovers know as sex.

Having the Last Word. My Secret.

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A heart of stone will never reveal the heart that beats within the stone

Whenever I see a sculptor, a construction site or guys/gals building an airplane or ship I wonder how the hell they’re gonna pull it all together into something that works, looks great or maybe at least something they can sell. Whenever I read curvy twisty tales I wonder how the writer thought it all up and then made it fit. It must be crazy standing on a piece of soil and looking up into an open sky and say “That’s where my skyscraper’s gonna go.”

So, at the first encounter with a new novel I’m too hare-brained to set out a plan like some writers. Once the characters have got a name they kinda resent being pushed around by some  office worker waving a blueprint. No, what I need is a flavor – maybe some little piece of dialogue that may come up on page 174. If it does it often goes out at the purple prose edit stage.

Somewhere in Passion Patrol Four a character is gonna say ” You can’t really really cry while your heart is still broken. The person who knows how to fix it will take your tears as a gift of love.”

There it is: the secret source of my work. That’s ahead of me now like a distant cloud on a sunny day. It’ll kinda move about, collect more woolly  sheep, morph into cauliflower or a stringy mustache;  but – it’s there.

Emma Thinx: Don’t trip on a milestone on the way to the horizon.

Suspense Romance meets Romantic Suspension Bridge

OK guys – it’s tuxedo and red carpet time. Well, maybe not quite but all things are relative. Members of my VIP Crew entered a draw to receive a free audio book edition of my story Escape to Love.

Rather than just drawing the names out of any old hat, I put on my cycle helmet and pedaled my tandem to the French town of Tonnay Charente for my first two wheeler-four legger  outing of the year. It seemed an appropriate location for the draw as the flow of one of France’s greatest rivers swept its random cargo of fallen tree branches onward to the Atlantic ocean.

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The flow of chance

I decided to award four prizes rather than just one – cos well hey, it’s Spring and I like to splosh out the romance whenever I get the chance. I think I’ve said already that I am the reader on the audio book. I’ve still got a slight London accent as has the central character Maria. I’m not a pro audio artiste but between you and me I never submit a book before I’ve read every word out loud. It’s a sure way to spot an ugly or awkward sentence or an unbalanced paragraph. So, here are our winners:

M. Cervantes from Texas USA.

M.Gerhart from Shoemakersville USA.

R. Fauble from Cadillac USA.

J.Edwards From Richmond USA.

Good job guys and thanks to everyone for joining in. Hope you enjoy the story. As you know I write about cops in my Passion Patrol books but this big hearted tough gal is on the other side of the line. Well, we all know it’s a pretty thin line don’t we!

Emma Thinx: Life’s an acting job. Don’t learn a line you can’t walk for real.

 

Let Them Drink Wine

I guess childbirth kinda gets you ready to release a new book. The original concept was fabulous wanton fun, the development was a bit up and down and the final push is a release followed by sleepless nights.

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I’m the grapeist

The next model in the Passion Patrol series is hunched down in the starting blocks. The serious looking guy in the blazer is raising his gun. I see barriers, medals, bruised shins and failed drug tests ahead. May as well have a glass of wine while I’m waiting.

And wine brings me to the setting of Passion Patrol 3 in God’s own country of the vine – France. The action unfolds in Paris, London and a real life Disney castle in deepest Aquitaine.

roche-courbon

Anyone seen my glass slipper?

Naturellement wine is served and the only choice would be the local vin de Saintonge. For many years this region was humbled by the big hitters of Bordeaux just down the road. Local producers tended to produce wines for the Cognac makers just to the east. However a change of varieties has brought about a renaissance and the modern Cépage en Saintonge range is both a delight and a bargain. You’ll find a 3 litre box in supermarkets for about 9 Euros and a bottle for 2.87 Euros  – that’s 3 US dollars.

I’m no expert on wine. I’d like to tell you it has scents of leather and highlights of vanilla on the palate. For ladies the red Merlot is warm and fluid, as rich as the sun bronzed skin of a lover, as soft as his lips on yours. Swallow and let the warmth and need for more spread shamelessly lower. Goes well with sausage and red meats.

Emma Thinx: The message in the bottle always reads Hope.