Press 1 for #Film Extras, Press 2 for #Cycle Adventures, Press 3 for The #Brass Section Press 4 For The Very Inspiring #Blogger #Awards


I would like to thank Caleb Pirtle for nominating me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, which is the subject of my post today, as lifted from my post on Venture Galleries Authors Collection Blog.

Its purpose is both simple and important…
It was designed to introduce authors and particularly readers to other authors who are producing some of the finest blogs on the Web today.  In fact, you should first check out the work of Caleb Pirtle at http://venturegalleries.com/author/calebpirtle/


Here are the rules for the contest:

  • Thank and link back to the amazing person who nominated you.
  • List the rules and display the award.
  • Share seven facts about yourself.
  • Nominate fifteen other amazing blogs and remember to comment on their blogs to let them know you have nominated them. Also, follow the blogger who nominated you.

So, here are my Seven Facts:

  • My right thumb is double jointed and allows me to do some freaky reverse moves that totally gross people out. I discovered this skill when my paternal grandfather showed me his – genes will out!
  • I love the sea and could never imagine living too far from the coast. I always feel rejuvenated after breathing in the salty air. As a child I used to get terrible hay fever and our annual family week at the seaside was often the only respite from sneezing and itchy eyes for the whole summer.

    The prevailing winds on British south coast resorts are from the southwest – very little pollen makes it over from the Americas, so I always associate the sea with feeling healthy. I’m very lucky that both in France and the UK I can reach a number of beautiful beaches in under an hour.

  • Something that I rarely admit to….. in a previous life I helped introduce the UK’s first telephone switchboard with an “automated attendant”. You know and love these things: “Press 1 for this, Press 2 for that” etc. etc. We put hundreds of switchboard staff out of work and speared the way for frustrating “voice mail jail” where you just can’t get through to a live human being. The technology was so exciting and it seemed such a great idea at the time – although the voice-editing skills I learned whilst programming these systems are coming in handy now I’m producing audiobooks! It’s rumoured there is still a hospital in Birmingham, England, where I answer the phone…
  • My family loves cycling.

    But, there is a problem, one needs the right machine for the job. Between mountain bikes, road bikes and tandems we have 18 working bicycles, plus a static exercise bike for the bad-weather days. That’s a lot of lube and tube! My eldest son is cycling the Etape du Tour (the stage of the Tour de France that’s open to the public) in the Pyrenées

    on the 20th July. Bon Courage mon brave. Allez. Allez!

  • I learned to speak french listening to Edith Piaf songs and singing along, imitating her accent – she rolls her rrrrrs like no one else!
  • I play the trombone and appear regularly at local bandstands: I love live music – indoors or outdoors and particularly enjoy opera. As a noisy brass player, my goal is to get tickets to see Richard Wagner’s Ring Cycle performed at Bayreuth – I’ve had my name down for 8 years but still no news…
  • I was a film extra in a British who-dunnit series: The Midsomer Murders, in an episode called “The Glitch”. They needed a specialist to play the part of the murder victim – a female prepared to ride on the back of a tandem – well hey now that’s my kinda acting! Unfortunately they said I was too young…. but I could still be an extra as part of a charity bike ride featured in the story. I whizz past a couple of times in the woods – in a yellow fluoro t-shirt. Don’t blink or you’ll miss me!

THE IMPORTANT BIT….


This is where I am listing my own fifteen nominations for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.  You need to find them and read their blog posts as well as their novels. You’ll be glad you did. It’s the most important discovery you will make this year.



"Wow – I’ve lost a stone!" Emma ejaculated.

Merely 4,250 calories = 8 days food

I originally started blogging when “Knockout” was published. Seemingly it was the thing that all aspiring scribettes needed to do. For the first six months I performed every day. Since then I have progressively reduced the output with surprising results. Yesterday for instance, some 200 hundred applauding fans flocked to worship at the shrine of my wondrous words. Or – perhaps not! 

My suspicion is that most of the views are conducted by some kind of Spam-a-vision. They leave anonymous comments about my genius and the need for the world to ejaculate more fully by using the tablets only available from their website. I’m with them on the assessment of my genius of course – but the other matter is rather beyond me.  Does any one else have blog issues with genius and ejaculation?

I am in France and sticking to my 5:2 diet. Yes, five different types of cheese and two glasses of wine to lubricate the follicles. Luckily I never omit an accompanying  substantial meal laced with blood purifying vampire slaying garlic to complete the evening. Oooh – you should have seen me at dinner with friends last week denying myself a third serving of full fat ham in liquid butter served with potatoes in melted cheese. I was so proud! Luckily there was some left for me to bring home.

Saint Saviinien  is so beautiful – even on a diet day there is loveliness


Of course, those are the five eat as you wish days. I have been ruthless on the two days of fasting. In France I have learned one thing. Denial is purely relative to temptation. We could call this the  DT index. Instead of all the statistics about financial inflation, happiness and climate we just need to know the DT ratio. Some places should warn that only experienced self deniers should enter. All French bakeries and cheese vendors would have to show their DT index on their shuttered shop windows. Oh why oh why is the best stuff so bad for you?

As big and as wide as a fasting novelists stomach


The good news….on the scales this morning I found that the world of Romantic fiction is now a whole stone (6.35 kgs) lighter. Accordingly I’m downsizing all future heroines by one size.
This diet is liveable and it works guys – it really does.

Emma thinx: Eat, shrink and be merry.