Kissing Is Calorie Free

I guess I thought that if I reduced my output of blogs I would automatically have more time to do all sorts of other things. What has actually happened is that I spend longer doing the same number of things. 

As an act of pure self indulgence I went out to see a movie last night. Nothing too bad about that except that the screening was preceded by a chocolate tasting. It was an odd kind of event to be honest. The film was French entitled “Les Emotifs Anonymes”. In the UK it is playing as “Romantics Anonymous”. (There are sub-titles.) In fact this is not really a translation because the term and psychological condition “emotif” does not exist in English. In France there are self help and counselling facilities that recognise shyness, timidity, blushing, fear of intimacy, fear of social situations etc as at least a problem. In France I find my neighbours and friends to be both more formal and emotionally open all at once. We English (although this term is increasingly loose), are trained to cover our meaning and soul in layers of vagueness and politeness, rather like a hazelnut in a bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk. 

The story of the film is set in a chocolate factory and hence some marketeer came up with the idea that a couple of the sales staff from the local “Hotel Chocolat” shop should stand in front of the cinema audience and chocolatize them. The girls done good and we all received some samples to reflect upon. I quickly analysed my tastes in matters of cocoa solids and sugar content and decided that there was just not enough of any of it. I must admit I did wonder how I would have felt if I had been ordered to stand in front of a chocolate hungry mob and give a speech. I think I might have crawled away to attend the local branch of “Emotifs Anonymes”. By the way, this is a great film. In movies and plays there is often a pre-snog moment when the story focuses in on lips, eyes and glances. In a couple of moments the comedy is so potent that Angélique (played by the lovely Isabelle Carré), is fighting not to laugh as she approaches a kiss. It is a charming and lovely screen kiss quand même. This film sheds a light on a lot of private heartache and longing. It is subtle French cinema at its beautiful  best. 

Oh dear, world economy red alert. I’m out of work today because of strikes by government employees. European leadership has fallen silent and I get this image of ears pressed to the ground in citadels of power to hear the first crack and split. If I were a leader I’d be withdrawing all camouflage clothing from shops. When the marching and the flag waving starts, a rag-bag mob look less serious. Any lateral thinking government should be stocking up with chocolate bullets.

Emma thinx: They put orange creams in the box to show the flow of my generosity.

Cometh the hour, cometh the spam.

Yesterday the car came back. In the end no oily rag was brandished. Instead 1,600Euros worth of electronic modules were changed. This morning we have been loading up. Most importantly the tandem is coming back with us. Luckily we have a house sitter to look after the old place. I have been tempted to do a kinda wistful poetic wander around the town to fill my memory tanks. At the end of the day you can torment yourself with sentimental wishes and could have beens. You have to cut all that crap and get on with it. I have weeded my flower bed and tucked in the last tendrils of the vines. I often think about all the folk who get sent off to wars or lose their homes in disasters. Most of the stuff we whine about is pathetic isn’t it.

I keep catching all manner of gloom on the radio about double dip recession and stagnant economies. The answer it seems is more cut- backs coupled with more spending. Then if we re-structure our European and American economies to encourage domestic manufacturing we can sell our goods to the globalised dispossessed and poor who will no longer have jobs or money. Ah! but we could give them the money. LET THEM EAT CREDIT. Now, why didn’t I think of that? To be honest comrades I feel a real sense of alarm amongst our leaders. The shadow of mass unemployment and mobs with little to lose have them peeking out from behind their curtains and pinning medals on their guards. The winter sweeps across us now. I believe we could see a very interesting Spring. The credit rating gurus have increased the cost of Italian borrowing and once again the disembowelled shark jack-knifes in reflex to swallow its own guts. So far our leaders think that the answer to shark attack is to send for better sharks. The answer my lords is to drain the sea.

And so these are my thoughts as I set out on my next little life adventure. I am neither politician nor economist – I write soppy fiction in a kinda purple bubble bath in cold water style. My time in France has shown me the sincerity with which Europeans pursue the ideal of unity. The forming of a federalised American state was by no means certain – it could have gone several ways. Their page was less written. Cometh the hour cometh the man is very different to cometh the decades cometh the men. Leaders – the Romantic novelist battalions are watching you. The tired old stuff won’t do.

Emma thinx: Travel broadens the mind: and often your beam.