Cops And Slobbers #relaunch the #romance!

Today is World Book Day. I know this because I’ve seen lines of dressing up costumes in ASDA for parents to buy for their children. My guess is that more costumes will be sold than books. Seemingly the idea is that kids dress up as their literary heroes. Most of them seem to be characters from “Frozen”which as far as I know, is a Disney film. I’ve also spotted a couple of Hagrids, several Harry Potters and a sprinkling of geek girls. Thinking about it they may have been just regular modern girls.

What I have not seen is hordes of women dressed in police uniform spiced up with checkered garters, high heels and fishnets. That’s because I’ve only just relaunched two of my novels with covers bearing this image. “Knockout” and “Shannon’s Law” have been re-born as “Passion Patrol 1” and “Passion Patrol 2“. All subsequent members of this crime busting oversexed family will be similarly named. I’d love to tell you that I modelled the legs on the cover myself….well, I might have done mightn’t I? Next year it will be the must have costume. Buy early to avoid disappointment.

Both books feature London Metropolitan Police girls. They don’t just get their own man – they scoop the bad guys on the way. I’ve been delighted by the critical response to both books since they launched in their original forms. This could be the biggest marketing event since the UK re launch of the Mars Marathon bar as “Snickers”. What a name – they must have been nuts! OK – you can groan but it’s late and I need a glass of Bordeaux.

Emma Thinx: The face that launched a thousand ships was mythology in books. Relaunching is mythology on Face book. 

In A Sewer A Soiled Hand Will Hold The Lamp

So Comrades the News of The World show trial has begun. The righteous prosecution alleges that journalists hacked into people’s phones in order to get juicy stories. Oh No! Who could have dreamed such a thing could happen? Who would ever have believed that journalists would have befriended servants in those lovely Downton Abbey days in order to get juicy stories about important toffs. Wow!!!! The evil and deviousness of this world knows no end.

All I want to say is that this trial has cost £40 million pounds of tax payer’s money in Metropolitan police investigation. Remember that when you next need a non existent cop. The legal fees are up to £450 million. You could feed a few starving people and build homes for the homeless with that lot! You could even invest in cancer research or develop new antibiotics. If we ignore the latter, kids will be dying of routine infections in thousands in a few years. Yes – they will and all the wailing phone-hacked dentally enhanced celebrities on Earth will not be able to save them. 

The hypocrisy is particularly defined by the open secret revelations of Edward Snowden  It appears most governments of sovereign states are hacked by all other governments. In turn their own good guys hack all those other bad foreign guys. This is called patriotism and defence of national security. Ah, there you have it then. Good job the vile Press are there to tell us eh? Fill the prisons with journalists and we’ll all be safe at last.

Rebekah Brooks Does she look like a hacking monster?

If you are a fame-oid the Press is a capricious and wonderful lover. You accept the flattery and kisses and you take the punch in the face of rejection. Or you don’t dress up and go out on the pull. Fame and celebrity has a down side. Please: all you thwarted hacks looking for a raunchy old tarty novelist to expose……here I am boys! Buy my books!!! Get my old face on TV. Interview me on chat shows. Fill my pockets with money. Sit me in a bath of ego and soap my back. Make my fans scream my name. Hack me hard and harder big boy. 

Emma Thinks: Tyranny offends the rules of common indecency.