In A Sewer A Soiled Hand Will Hold The Lamp

So Comrades the News of The World show trial has begun. The righteous prosecution alleges that journalists hacked into people’s phones in order to get juicy stories. Oh No! Who could have dreamed such a thing could happen? Who would ever have believed that journalists would have befriended servants in those lovely Downton Abbey days in order to get juicy stories about important toffs. Wow!!!! The evil and deviousness of this world knows no end.

All I want to say is that this trial has cost £40 million pounds of tax payer’s money in Metropolitan police investigation. Remember that when you next need a non existent cop. The legal fees are up to £450 million. You could feed a few starving people and build homes for the homeless with that lot! You could even invest in cancer research or develop new antibiotics. If we ignore the latter, kids will be dying of routine infections in thousands in a few years. Yes – they will and all the wailing phone-hacked dentally enhanced celebrities on Earth will not be able to save them. 

The hypocrisy is particularly defined by the open secret revelations of Edward Snowden  It appears most governments of sovereign states are hacked by all other governments. In turn their own good guys hack all those other bad foreign guys. This is called patriotism and defence of national security. Ah, there you have it then. Good job the vile Press are there to tell us eh? Fill the prisons with journalists and we’ll all be safe at last.

Rebekah Brooks Does she look like a hacking monster?



If you are a fame-oid the Press is a capricious and wonderful lover. You accept the flattery and kisses and you take the punch in the face of rejection. Or you don’t dress up and go out on the pull. Fame and celebrity has a down side. Please: all you thwarted hacks looking for a raunchy old tarty novelist to expose……here I am boys! Buy my books!!! Get my old face on TV. Interview me on chat shows. Fill my pockets with money. Sit me in a bath of ego and soap my back. Make my fans scream my name. Hack me hard and harder big boy. 

Emma Thinks: Tyranny offends the rules of common indecency.







Wolves, Predators And Vixens.

When I am not writing about love, need and tendresse in the Venice lagoon or the ecstasy of passion with oysters, wine and hot baguette, I am a right little drab Domestos.

A vixen fix’n her gaze


Beyond my little world of kids, buses and ASDA is the drama of landscape and nature. Regular readers will recall my delight at the recent visit of Mrs Fox. You know those stories where some kind of magical animal appears and changes lives. Well, that is how I felt when Mrs Fox somehow chose to share my mortadella sandwich. I figured we might never meet again, but today she came back. All those times when I wasn’t selected for the sports team or voted girl most likely (only because I already had), were swept away. I know this beast loves me. Maybe she has one of my works in her burrow. 

I am not religious in any way but to connect with this animal is a joy that seems beyond this world. Can’t say why. Does anyone know…..?

Now let’s get a bit serious. Half of today’s News is all about the serial sex offending of the deceased  Sir Jimmy Savile (for non UK readers, he was a famous TV entertainer and charity fund raiser). The other half of the News is Lance Armstrong who has been labelled a drug cheat. 

The connection between the two matters is that both were protected by an insidious culture of celebrity worship. The great and the good are now wringing hands and thrashing around with enquiries and public inquests as if no one understands why these things happened and no one spoke out. The issue is not quite as simple as I suggest but the celebrity as god is a major feature.

Great wedges of righteous hypocrisy will be heaped upon these sinners. All the pus of “totally unacceptable” clichés will crowd around the wound. Speeches will be made. But remember this – at present some 200 hundred detectives are working on the phone hacking case against the News Of The World. Most of the hacking “victims” were celebrities. Hundreds of thousands of pounds have been paid to them as “compensation”. Millions upon millions of pounds are being spent to persecute the hounded vixen editor Rebekah Brooks. They have even scooped her driver to put frighteners on her. The case has been adjourned for perhaps a year. Lawyers will receive fees for one hour that a bus driver earns in a month. I will not bore you with explaining who will be paying for a lot of this, but you know don’t you.

Rebekah with her child. Hundreds of detectives are on her case.


The allegation is that The News Of The World broke rules. Many journalists and private detectives are not selfless kind people. We do not need a show trial to tell us. Celebrities who want the fame and cash were terrified of the “Gutter Press”. I know (and believe me, I do know), that the newspapers knew all about Savile. All the glitzy full gloss sports writers knew all about Lance Armstrong. I just say  you may have to accept a few celebrity squeals of intrusion or tolerate the alternative. Because that is what we’ve got. The inner cliques knew it all. We did not and that is the way they wanted it.


Emma thinx: In a sewer a soiled hand will hold the lamp.

Hacking Coughs

OK – I’m a News junkie. At lunch time I watched the BBC NEWS. For an hour I followed a story that James Murdoch had resigned from News International. There was a 40 second interruption to tell me that North Korea had appeared to modify their approach to nuclear annihilation of  Earth. Thank goodness they did not linger on that limp little column filler. 


I was first in the queue on Sunday morning to buy the new disgusting filth soaked pack of lies, scandal and gossip that the Murdochs have launched to replace the degraded, vile, sex obsessed and delicious News of the World. To me it was a bit disappointing to be honest. I wanted a story of top toff politicians in frilly ladies’ panties  being whipped by pouting sexy Russian spies in an exclusive underworld vice den. I wanted the dark soil of alliterative  adjectives raked open. The new Sun was a bit PC and non confrontational. It was like an anger management course for boxers. (Yes comrades – this is the latest wheeze of the world controllers. A British boxer, Dereck Chisora, has been ordered to seek anger management counselling after a punch up with another pugilist.)


Now – I am no Murdoch fan. He is a Union breaker and a tyrant. Normally I would have no sympathy but here is the truth of it all. Murdoch got in amongst the toffs and the self seekers at the top. They took his cash. They courted his affection. They were elected on his say so. They chortled and bloated at his overflowing table – glad to see lesser nobles, commoners and opponents beaten with shitty sticks. Then – the baron forgot who was king. He attacked other barons – not realizing that he was NOT actually himself in the club. He is a foreigner and a bruiser. You can guffaw and chortle inside the club but you cannot attack the club. Sadly, in the UK, affairs of the boudoir are in the public interest and light fell on several erect parliamentary members. 

Now sensational News! Newspapers have been paying police and officials for juicy inside information!!! Journalists and cops intermingle, drink and chat together! CLAMOROSO as they say in Italia – although these days they can only afford lower case to save ink. Surely the sweet innocent public are astounded by such notions. Even worse, the hapless  ex-editor Rebekah Brooks was given a retired police horse to look after. Can civilization withstand any more immorality on this scale? Such a tale of kindness to animals has elevated her in the opinion polls above every single politician in the land. 


I’m no fan of Murdoch or News Corp. All the same I’ll tell you who was afraid of the News of The World. It was the drug dealers, the child pornsters, the hypocrites who would control you, the pimps, the corrupt sports stars, the arms dealers and the perfumed icons who rolled in filth.  I loved the News of the World and I doubt it will ever be replaced. 


No one needs me to tell them that this a grubby old world. While we are waiting for the broom to sweep it clean let’s keep the lights on and shining in the corners. When you live in shit, light may have to pass through a sewer to reach you. 


Emma thinx: Scandal – the tabloid word for desire.