Good Evening Viewers, Here Is The Latest Past.

I’ll do any background  face you want. Give me a job. Please!!!

Here is the Past. I’m sorry we cannot bring you any News because we are saving today’s News for 2056. Here is some News from the 1960’s, 1970’s and a little trailer for some 1984 news. 

Is it just me, but can we have enquiries into everything that has ever happened that go on for ever? This means that today’s News will always be about stuff that should have been on the News at the time. I know that live TV has a small delay to edit out obscenities, celebrity flatulence, nose picking and pubic scratching by dentally enhanced household name heart-throbs. It now seems that the delay is about 35 to 40 years. I know we need the truth and closure but if the current News is all about history we will never ever ever catch up. I also think there is a real danger in judging one period with the ethos of another when all the fear and need for quick decision is passed. To me it is as if we are recording the present for later viewing and spending our lives watching all the recorded stuff. Ho ho Comrades, does that mean we are not looking at our current issues? Who could possibly want that?

However, if the rest of time is going to be filled with televised enquiries about stories that half the living population don’t know about because they were not born, I want to get on the bandwagon. I want to be an extra. I want to be one of the folk who sit behind the person in the pillory/spotlight. I can look concerned, cynical, bored quizzical, stupid, beautiful, sophisticated, angry or completely neutral. There are now so many televised public enquiries, parliamentary enquiries, judicial enquiries,civil enquiries, tribunals and reconciliation committees that there must be a job for me. Ideally I would like to look at the evidence again on the Anne Boleyn case. I never did like that King Henry VIII. The whole thing stinks of a frame up to me. I can dress up as a concerned Tudor citizen if that would get me the job.


What we need is good fair news at the time of events! Seemingly nothing has happened for months and months. The featured video is the scene today as politicians in white shining armour attack
unarmed BBC chief for not revealing that Jimmy Savile (exitainer- a Calinesque term for dead entertainer) was a vile selfish pervert forty years ago. Since everyone in clique elite knew at the time, I think the News is forty years late. Victims can only come out now because it is all in the News. Well, duh…. if it had all been in the News back then…………

Before I move on, I do want to tell the lady sitting behind Mr Entwhistle to the right that she has kind brown eyes and that she is the face for my current novel. I bet she didn’t know that was going to happen when she got up this morning. If you know her please tell her. It could change her life and release her from her role as a background person.

In my own very small way I am in the News today. The lovely American author and selfless Janna Shay has featured me in an interview. I have exposed myself. Click the link if you can bear it.

I know I’m a Romantic Novelist and this is all all socio-politico rants in your pants but sometimes you need to say wot ya fink.

Emma thinx. Live grammatically. The past is a noun not a sentence.



















Wolves, Predators And Vixens.

When I am not writing about love, need and tendresse in the Venice lagoon or the ecstasy of passion with oysters, wine and hot baguette, I am a right little drab Domestos.

A vixen fix’n her gaze


Beyond my little world of kids, buses and ASDA is the drama of landscape and nature. Regular readers will recall my delight at the recent visit of Mrs Fox. You know those stories where some kind of magical animal appears and changes lives. Well, that is how I felt when Mrs Fox somehow chose to share my mortadella sandwich. I figured we might never meet again, but today she came back. All those times when I wasn’t selected for the sports team or voted girl most likely (only because I already had), were swept away. I know this beast loves me. Maybe she has one of my works in her burrow. 

I am not religious in any way but to connect with this animal is a joy that seems beyond this world. Can’t say why. Does anyone know…..?

Now let’s get a bit serious. Half of today’s News is all about the serial sex offending of the deceased  Sir Jimmy Savile (for non UK readers, he was a famous TV entertainer and charity fund raiser). The other half of the News is Lance Armstrong who has been labelled a drug cheat. 

The connection between the two matters is that both were protected by an insidious culture of celebrity worship. The great and the good are now wringing hands and thrashing around with enquiries and public inquests as if no one understands why these things happened and no one spoke out. The issue is not quite as simple as I suggest but the celebrity as god is a major feature.

Great wedges of righteous hypocrisy will be heaped upon these sinners. All the pus of “totally unacceptable” clichés will crowd around the wound. Speeches will be made. But remember this – at present some 200 hundred detectives are working on the phone hacking case against the News Of The World. Most of the hacking “victims” were celebrities. Hundreds of thousands of pounds have been paid to them as “compensation”. Millions upon millions of pounds are being spent to persecute the hounded vixen editor Rebekah Brooks. They have even scooped her driver to put frighteners on her. The case has been adjourned for perhaps a year. Lawyers will receive fees for one hour that a bus driver earns in a month. I will not bore you with explaining who will be paying for a lot of this, but you know don’t you.

Rebekah with her child. Hundreds of detectives are on her case.


The allegation is that The News Of The World broke rules. Many journalists and private detectives are not selfless kind people. We do not need a show trial to tell us. Celebrities who want the fame and cash were terrified of the “Gutter Press”. I know (and believe me, I do know), that the newspapers knew all about Savile. All the glitzy full gloss sports writers knew all about Lance Armstrong. I just say  you may have to accept a few celebrity squeals of intrusion or tolerate the alternative. Because that is what we’ve got. The inner cliques knew it all. We did not and that is the way they wanted it.


Emma thinx: In a sewer a soiled hand will hold the lamp.