Royal Diet – Let them eat cakes! pic.twitter.com/IZHc6rHmx8

I do not struggle with my weight. My weight struggles with me and owing to its superior artillery of temptation, I don’t resist.  Until now! 

I have joined the underground resistance. I’m working by sabotage and secrecy – so much so that I’ve not even told myself I’m dieting. In that way if I’m captured and tortured by the Guessmyweightstapo with a chocolate eclair I will not give myself away. I’ll just eat it so as not to betray my secret plan.

So, I’m on a pleasure based diet. This means long country walks, poetic contemplation and writing ‘Passion Patrol 3′ in my head.


Oh Cinders – I shall go to the ball at the Hall when I can get into my dress


Today my route took me to the grounds of Broadlands House in Hampshire England.  This is the stately home of Lord Romsey who inherited when Lord Mountbatten (cousin of the Queen and uncle of the Duke of Edinburgh) was assassinated during the Irish troubles. Prince Charles went to the scene a few days ago. I’m not a royalist groupie but I like the guy. He’s been in trouble for writing to ministers about providing better kit for the poor old squaddies who fight for us. Well – Good on ya mate. If they don’t like it ride down to parliament and close’em down.

My path to bodily perfection and infinity

My new royal protection squad heroine was feeling the surge and pulse of life in her inner core longing for release as she took in the view through my eyes this afternoon. Well – maybe it was me rumbling…..but I’m pretty sure the earth moved.

‘The Sane Max’ – Passion Patrol 3  – coming soon to an e-reader near you. 


So here I am on my long and winding road to health and fitness.  Have you ever been on a secret diet? What tips would you share to keep me on track?






Emma Thinx: The straight and narrow only works if the Earth is flat

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