Royal Diet – Let them eat cakes! pic.twitter.com/IZHc6rHmx8

I do not struggle with my weight. My weight struggles with me and owing to its superior artillery of temptation, I don’t resist.  Until now! 

I have joined the underground resistance. I’m working by sabotage and secrecy – so much so that I’ve not even told myself I’m dieting. In that way if I’m captured and tortured by the Guessmyweightstapo with a chocolate eclair I will not give myself away. I’ll just eat it so as not to betray my secret plan.

So, I’m on a pleasure based diet. This means long country walks, poetic contemplation and writing ‘Passion Patrol 3′ in my head.


Oh Cinders – I shall go to the ball at the Hall when I can get into my dress


Today my route took me to the grounds of Broadlands House in Hampshire England.  This is the stately home of Lord Romsey who inherited when Lord Mountbatten (cousin of the Queen and uncle of the Duke of Edinburgh) was assassinated during the Irish troubles. Prince Charles went to the scene a few days ago. I’m not a royalist groupie but I like the guy. He’s been in trouble for writing to ministers about providing better kit for the poor old squaddies who fight for us. Well – Good on ya mate. If they don’t like it ride down to parliament and close’em down.

My path to bodily perfection and infinity

My new royal protection squad heroine was feeling the surge and pulse of life in her inner core longing for release as she took in the view through my eyes this afternoon. Well – maybe it was me rumbling…..but I’m pretty sure the earth moved.

‘The Sane Max’ – Passion Patrol 3  – coming soon to an e-reader near you. 


So here I am on my long and winding road to health and fitness.  Have you ever been on a secret diet? What tips would you share to keep me on track?






Emma Thinx: The straight and narrow only works if the Earth is flat

If you go down to the woods today – #Bluebells #poetry #video pic.twitter.com/kq9vFPaOJP

Oh to be in England
Now that April’s there…..

So begins the famous poem Home Thoughts, From Abroad  by Robert Browning, written in 1845 when he was feeling homesick in Italy. It is a lovely poem and I have always taken pleasure from poems of Nature. One of the few “arty” things I learned at school was the poem “Daffodils” by William WordsworthIn later life as a wannabee poet I discovered the words of John Clare and wept with frustration at my dullness. These days what poetry I have I secrete in my novels like a pinch of mono-sodium glutamate among the stir fried bean sprouts of new love. (Guess what I’ve been cooking for dinner?)

It was a release to get away from the office and go to the Bluebell woods at Mottisfont in Hampshire. I took my camera and tried to capture the crushing fragility of such beauty. All I could think of was the poem by Oscar Sparrow entitled simply “Bluebells”So much of our longing as humans comes down to a need to hold on and endure. Humble flowers with their immense beauty and perfume fade before our eyes and we cannot hold them any more than we can hold ourselves on the shingle shores of Time. And yet in poetry we can pass on a few moments that in the act itself of sharing, flower over and over as seeds, roll over and over as waves, kiss over and over as innocent lovers: as if no bloom before had offered such beauty or no lips before had ever known the joy of the kiss.

These were my feelings when I first read Oscar Sparrow’s poem. Putting away all the bawdy splash and dash of selling the stuff and beating the drum which is a novelist’s/publisher’s life, I was in those woods – trying to hold back Time, trying to breathe in the blue. 

Emma thinx: Memory is your portrait. Select your poses to paint you

#Romance novelist filmed performing BL%W JOB in the park to launch her new #book.

Trombone-icon

I am ashamed to admit, my embouchure was rather slack, having not had it out for nearly a year.   My lips were swollen and buzzing by the end… my poor instrument is rusting away from lack of use. I would never have believed my glissando would get exposed to such a wide audience!

Well the 31st was the final stop on my world tour – blowing my own trumpet trombone to announce the launch of my new book – 


Last blast was at The Venture Galleries Authors Collection and this is an excerpt from that post:

Drum roll please ~~~ I give you~~~

The Romsey Community Wind Band – featuring Emma Calin on the slide trombone,  recorded 2 weeks ago from the bandstand in the park…

Emma Calin’s

‘Blowing My Own Trombone’ Finale Concert

In aid of
PROGRAM
  1. Cabaret
    An apt description of the life of a modern author. We do not shiver in isolation in our bare garrets writing away in anonymity. We are out there in the spotlight, baring it all and putting on a show. We perform avariety act for our readers – social media, blogs, interviews, appearances. As the song says, ‘What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play?’
  2. Edelweiss
    A love song for all you romance writers and readers out there – pure love in the form of a small and perfect mountain bloom.
  1. Rock-a-my-Sex (Sax/Soul)
    Well – this is an adaptation of an old song – the title brought up to date for a modern romance writer. Eroticism has come of age as the effects of the “50 Shades…” permeate through the romance genre.
  2. The Muppets
    A nod to the madness of the circus. A jibe at the desperation of the modern day novelist. I am the worst – prone to jumping on every band-wagon. Trying to ride the latest wave; to identify and mimic the traits of the successful who have raised their books above the parapet and made a few sales.
    … and sometimes you just need those two old guys on the balcony to put their heads up, blow a few raspberries of ridicule and point their fingers to bring you back down to earth.
    At the end of the day it’s all about putting your soul into your writing. This is what matters. One has to avoid becoming a Muppet jumping to the call of the puppeteers of the ‘system’ – whatever it may be!
Thank you for coming!
And the purpose of all this horn blowing? A fanfare for the arrival of my new book –
My series of five short stories are now available under one cover. A bargain way for you to get your hands on my gritty tales-with-a-twist.
The five titles in the collection stand alone in their own right but are linked by a common theme: the universal quest for survival, love, passion and respect against the gritty backdrop of working class life.
Sub-Prime– a gritty short story
The Chosen– a short story with a twist
Escape To Love – a novelette, a suspense romance with a twist
Angela– a short story
Love in a Hopeless Place– a novelette, a romance.
During July and August ‘ANGELA‘ a short story from the collection is FREE – so you can even try one before you buy the set!

The ‘Blowing my own Trombone Book Launch Blog Tour’ is now over – many thanks to these kind folk who have hosted my blasting over the last two weeks!

Tonight I am greasing up my old trusty instrument and packing it away until December’s street carols… watch this space!

17th July AnneliPurchase
20th July Sheryl Browne
21st July Nicky Wells
22nd July Melanie Robertson-King
25th July Bonnie Trachtenberg
26th July Patricia Sands
Emma Calin Links
For more books by Emma Calin:
EmmaCalin Website: http://www.emmacalin.com
Twitter:@Emma Calin