Robert Galbraith – First Pictures ;-)

The author and close friend Bob Galbraith after the publisher’s party

Oooh – I’ve been listening to posh BBC radio over breakfast. The main subject has been that wizard of an author Robert Galbraith. This red headed porridge gobbler has fooled the world for the last sixteen years or so by masquerading as a female novelist using the pseudonym JK Rowling. Those of us industry insiders who know Robert (or Bobby to his mates) Galbraith personally are not surprised. I’ll never forget his appearance in drag at the Random Penguin Christmas party two years ago. It was only the haggis fragments in his stubble that gave him away. Bob Galbraith – I salute you. You never fooled me of course, but it was great while it lasted. Who knows what other secrets lie undiscovered in the mysterious hyper- murk of the super-scribes? 

And NOW……The prize winners in my ‘Love In A Hopeless Place’ launch competition. All winners were selected by Rafflecopter. In addition all winners will receive a Kindle copy of the soon-to-be launched ‘Love In A Hopeless Place Collection’ featuring all five stories.

Linn Halton wins a large tattoo.
Petra Rovere wins a Seahorse Club pin.
Carol Wyer wins a pack of Pleasuremax ribbed condoms
Nicky Wells wins a glitterball key ring
Barbara Brannon White wins a copy of Love In A Hopeless

Place (Now upgraded to the whole collection!).

Regulars on here may recall that all of these items feature in the story. If any TV producer out there wants an idea for a  celebrity vehicle show how about this? You get a couple of famous scribblers such as Robert (Bobby) Galbraith and Emma Calin. You give them each a team of coked-up celebs and a bag of props. They write a story based on them which is then performed by celebrity chefs. You could call it “Ready Steady Book”. Wow – I’m gonna be rich.

And finally, my latest book, a ‘boxed set’ of five novelettes and short stories: 
 “Love In A Hopeless Place Collection” 
launches on Thursday 18th July. 
I’m gonna be on all kinds of blogs blowing my own trumpet trombone…

17th July Anneli Purchase
20th July Sheryl Browne
21st July Nicky Wells
23rd July Miriam Wakerly
26th July Patricia Sands

Emma Thinx: Identities are easy. Finding yourself is tough.

Joy Joy Joy in Albion’s Fair Isle

Some things have an essence you cannot truly capture in words – at least, not with my level of ability. Today I was in the small country town of Romsey in Hampshire. We wandered into the park where a brass band was playing on the bandstand. We bought tea (and utterly supercalorificbiscuitexitmefromdiet shortbread) at the municipal wooden hut. We sat on damp grass to listen to the band. Oooh – I do miss playing my trombone!

All I had was an old compact camera long past its best. I decided to video the band just to capture the music. As they struck up “The Floral Dance” a young girl skipped by in an expression of utter careless joy. I’m sorry about the film quality. You know,  life will take its toll and its dues. Much of our human experience is of spite, revenge, futile punishment, violence and sorrow. In short – the absence in our hearts of a carefree skipping child.  Yet in simple moments of joy we do see the absolute truth. The war dealers and the money changers still hold the stage.It will not always be thus.

You just can’t beat a bit of old brass. (Novelist in full blow)

Just maybe, when we see the simple joy of being alive – we should be more angry at those who claim they are called by faith or politics to lead us. They talk of production, gods and markets but they say little to me while they sell their limb destroying mines and the greedy stuff their pockets with more and more and more until they burst. I know – I go on a bit don’t I? Tell me I’m wrong.

Emma Thinx: Don’t run before you can walk. Don’t think before you can skip. 

Kreatures of Kreation

Firstly let me thank Jo VonBargen for nominating me for the Kreativ Blogger Award. At my primary school I was appointed deputy blackboard monitor. Since then few accolades have come my way and I have searched in the desert of broken dreams ever since for that high. Oh – OK – I’ve been scribbling romance and I’m in double purple 3 glasses of wine on empty stomach mode.  The regulations require that I list 10 things about me that one would not suspect. Oh dear, does this mean that I must submit to a warm bath of ego while my readers sponge my back. Ooooh – here goes then:

1) I play the trombone. Probably this is why I can be a little brassy. It certainly explains my love of Wagner.
2) I am not quite absolutely totally a fully pigmentally challenged natural blonde. 
3) My favourite undergarment is my salmon pink and black lace basque.
4) I have a RYA coastal skippers ticket.
5) I have a Class 1 Heavy Goods (semi-trailer rig) licence in addition to my class 1 bus licence.
6) My ex husband called to say he was marrying a pole-dancer. Turns out she is my age, lives in Poland and loves to tango.
7) I am allergic to cats.
8) In France people think I’m Belgian on account of my accent and love of chocolate.
9) When sensitive English friends visit us in France I have been known to serve rabbit and tell them it is chicken.
10)  My favourite position with my sexy French lover is… on the back of our tandem going downhill.

Gilles bought me my basque by mail order from a lively national company who provide lingerie and all manner of toys. They boast that their products are delivered in plain wrappers by their own couriers. I was at home when the doorbell rang and a large tattooed man handed me  a package. With a wink he explained in a gruff confidential stage whisper – “Ere y’are Sweet heart – here’s them naughty knickers.” – I was quite shocked.

What a week-end. I’ve been free on Amazon KDP Select  and Rosina keeps phoning me with updates. In the end I gave up and made leek and potato soup. To me it seemed a bit bland so I added some anchovy paste…..Ummm – well, we ate it.

The weekend stats have all sorts of astonishing aspects. If you are thinking of going for this KDP deal you might be interested. Breakdown of figures by Tuesday I hope.

The second regulation for this award is that I choose a further six Kreativ souls. Here is my list:

1) Claude Nougat – La giornalista piu intelligente in Italia.
2) Jack Durish – historian who is improving my general knowledge
3) Magda Olchawksa – for her informative and varied posts about the Creative Industry.
4) Yvonne Lewis for being the only other person on Earth to admit to loving Carousel and Oklahoma
5) Craig McGinty for This French Life – the best ever resource for news and info for expats in France
6) Julie Kemp for Empty Nest Insider – Intelligent writing about a variety of interesting topics.

Emma thinx: Elation and deflation have poetic relation.