Give A #Dog A #Free Home – 11-13th April Amazon Worldwide

You can’t drive a better bargain than free!

There is a long tradition of novelists taking real characters and turning them into literary figures. Sherlock Holmes, James Bond, Severus Snape, Indiana Jones, Dorian Gray and Alf The Workshop Dog were all based on real people …..and a dog of course. 

If you want to check out the real Alf  FOR FREE you will able to see him live by using the interactive features in Alf The Workshop Dog which goes free on 11th, 12th and 13th April.

In the story Alf the homeless mutt helps out at a Bus depot workshop by finding tools and sniffing out waste food on a fleet of buses. Do I hear you saying “Aah – poor thing”.  Well, here’s your chance to give a dog a home and learn the whole story. 

Emma thinx: Police dogs work on leads.

Persons From Porlock

The erudite literati out there will of course know the history of poor Coleridge’s writing of Kubla Khan. The great poet was in full (opiate?) creative flow when a visitor from Porlock knocked on his door causing the most disastrous poeticus interruptus of all time. Even so, a wonderful poem was conceived and Porlock went on to host a famous literary festival. The only thing it had lacked in the past was the attendance of a full bodied Romantic Passionista such as modest little me.

Candy and Paul awaiting the person from Porlockl
Of course, I was supposed to go with Oscar – but he couldn’t get the day off work. And guess who the folks actually wanted to see? It’s not that I don’t do poetry – I still do (ish) and did ( ooh – you could have taken your pick of my iambic at one time). No one did as it happens! That’s why I’m not on BBC Radio Foreplay. 

Buy my books. OK BUY MY BOOKS!!!
Happily I met up with a couple of fantastic poets, Candy Bright and Paul Tobin who starred in the “Freeze Frame” anthology. I had read their stuff and done the sound editing on the audio track. These guys are the real deal. As a young young writer I went to poetry readings and longed to be that kind of writer. Poets push off from the shore, not knowing where they’re off to; prepared over and over again to drown in waves and cross currents. Their work is their cry above the storm or the landscape of the calm horizon where only ideas or desires cast shadows. Poetry is the true form and I still love it. I guess they don’t look at their Amazon ratings or admire their limousines too much either.

I also met a fellow novelist – Jackie Gingell, author of “Ee Aye Addyeo” (The Farmer Wants a Wife). We had a comradely chat which left me smiling.

With driving rain and wind, the village hall was no Xanadu, so many thanks to the man from Porlock and partners, who fought the elements and treated themselves to some poetry.

And finally just to note that this is my three hundredth blog. I know there are tattooed old sweats out there who have done several thousands. My feeling is that the blogger sands have shifted since I started. At the outset it was absolutely de rigueur for writers to have one. There were gurus writing blogs telling other gurus how to blog up their guru power. A quick google has just confirmed my suspicion that many pets now write blogs. A look at the stats reveals that at least one spaniel has twice my readership. I dare not check out the cats cos they can be far wittier than me. 

Hey ho – blog on. 

Emma Thinx: Big ideas stand tall. Their shadows are the light. 

War Horses

A man has appeared in court in London charged with assaulting a police dog that was chasing him. Somehow I suspect that if he had assaulted a police officer very little would have been made of it. The alleged villain is called Lukasz Sklepowski, 28 years of no fixed address. The dog is named “Zincan”. I bet the get well cards and choco dog treats are already arriving at Scotland Yard. In 1982 a horse of the household Cavalry was injured in a terrorist nail bomb outrage in London. The horse received more cards and gifts than all the soldiers killed and injured that day. Sefton eventually recovered enough to return to duty. It was probably the biggest PR mistake that the IRA ever made. To me it seems only fair that poor beasts with no choice should be seen as special heroes. Those old newsreel shots of mules being craned onto boats to go to war do pull a tender chord. 

Of course it is romantic to think of Mountain Rescue Dogs. Given the chance I would like to go out with rugged guys and rescue mountains in return for some chocolate and a head massage. All manner of special rescue and crotch sniffing drug dogs deserve our applause. Some working mutts will never make the front page, yet their contribution to our lives is beyond price. We need look no further than Alf – the workshop dog. Imagine the problem of a bus coming back from a trip with football supporters. In addition to beer cans, sweet wrappings and crisp packets, there are certain to be all manner of Kentucky fried wings and burger bits all around the cabin. Alf is placed on board by his handler and within minutes every shred of chicken batter and burger bap is discovered and devoured. If ever a dog deserves the eco-reycle medal of gallantry it is Alf.

I’ve just come back from the movies where I have been watching Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris. This is a simply fabulous film. It is witty, philosophical and just so sumptuously photographed. It is worth seeing just for the pictures of Paris. There is a great cameo role by Carla Bruni, wife of President Sarkozy. I always find that kinda stuff weird – like watching a U.S. president in a cowboy film. Nah – that’s just too far fetched.

Emma thinx: A spider would make 2 four legged friends