A Picture In The Attic

I saw the light
Same picture without supernatural intervention

I do love a nice omen don’t you. Recently a family member has been serving in Afghanistan. My life has been an omen quest seeking reassurance that he will be OK. The garden magpies are tired of being counted and saluted. I have studied tea leaves and cloud patterns. I have been opening books and selecting random words. Then there are the patterns of blowing leaves, not to mention songs on the radio. Not that I’m superstitious or influenced by these things of course. The fact is that all the omens were good and the lad has made it home for Christmas. On his last day there I turned on the TV by chance to see the movie Apollo 13 playing. It was the scene where Marilyn Lovell lost her ring down the plughole. Surely this was a post-modern reflexive omen with the message that things can come good even if there is a disconcerting omen.

The importance of being Artist

So, imagine my agitation this morning when a cosmic collision of omens broke my sense of post-Christmas stupor. I was in the lounge. I had moved a painting to an unusual place in order to rearrange the room. As I reached out to the bookshelf to get down my new 2015 copy of the “Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook”. I saw a shaft of light fall on the painting as if it were a sun. The edge of a window pane was refracting the light and focusing it. I noticed that the book I wanted was on top of the works of Oscar Wilde, containing of course “A Portrait Of Dorian Gray”, in which a hidden painting reveals the true life of a man. This was omen OMG overload. I was trying to decide if 2014 was to be the end of my commercially invisible writing career. 2015 could be a scribble free zone with a proper paying job punctuated by meaningful three for the price of two experiences in Walmart. Was the cosmos sending me a sign? Should there be a third “Passion Patrol” title where the girl cop solves the case with supernatural assistance? She leaves her police equipment unattended while she cavorts in abandoned lust with her mysterious enigmatic lover. Later she opens her official notebook to find the writing of a phantom hand has provided a key to a major crime. Only thing is…… it hasn’t happened yet!

The picture is by Dorset artist Graham Towler and is called Dorset Hill Fort.

Emma Thinx: Will we know it’s the future when we get there?










Shannon’s Law: New Emma Calin Romance

Gurus differ about titles. Some say you should have one right from the start. Rival gurus think it should be designed as part of the cover. I can’t recall the names of any books by gurus. My new novel is called “Shannon’s Law”. It was born at a healthy weight of 94,000 words and is so much alive it even has its own Facebook  page for you to “like”: https://www.facebook.com/ShannonsLaw

Now, during the long incubation period, I had to make a rather serious decision. A wonderful publisher actually wanted it. This is what I had looked for all my life. At last I could become a member of the Romantic Novelists Association. So, perversely,  I turned them down. Professional acceptance will have to wait. The industry has changed so much and since I published “Knockout” I have learned a lot. I’ve even set up Gallo-Romano Media, my own publishing business that now handles third party books.  With breathtaking arrogance I have decided to go it alone again. “Knockout” was always intended as the first in a series of hardcore modern police romance stories. The flavour is very much girl cop on top. They’re tough but not rough. There’s handbags, toe-rags, sandbags and glad rags. It’s Passion Patrol.

A view with a room (or two)

If you check out the Facebook page you’ll find a cool competition  http://tinyurl.com/qy6rxvp to win a signed pre-release printed copy or tickets to the live launch event in the UK. Yes – a live stately home launch. I can’t reveal the story but here is a full frontal view of our launch venue, complete with hard upright pillars at the entrance. Much of the action takes place here. 

I am a woman with a plan. The countdown has begun. The Facebook page is up. The cover reveal will be on 6th January 2014. A Pinterest board has developed in parallel with the book, featuring nearly everything from venue to menu. Teaser silhouettes will proceed a Pinterest reveal International blog tour. The book will launch on February 28th  with a virtual tea party. The live launch event will be on 2nd March 2014. Only Nostradamus can take us beyond that date. 

Emma Thinx: Pillar talk -it’s what architects do in bed.







Love In A Hopeless Place – Cover Reveal

All things evolve and change do they not? Gravity slowly exacts its revenge for my vanity and it looks as if my application to go weightless as an astronaut is in the cosmic slush pile. My personal evolution as a writer now reaches an interim full stop. I started a mere 35 years ago with the magazines, writing shorts about lurrv. (Some success). I wrote proper literary novels (SEVEN! – No success whatsoever). Whatever slush pile I was in, the spring melt swept me away in an avalanche of  otherwise engaged agents, disappeared sub-editors and patronising posh publishers. In a moment of ironic renaissance I wrote “Knockout” as a kind of hybrid philosexophy novel. (Some success). 

All the while I was doing what I think I was born to do – tough shorts about emotion in working class life. This is what I know. I won big lit cred prizes and drove a bus! A few days ago I reached the end of that road with the completion of “Love In A Hopeless Place”. This title will also serve as the overall name for a collection of five stories, all set in the same context. 

This story is a 10,000 word first person account of a working class woman’s experience of self discovery. You can imagine if you read my blogs – there is sex in the mix and even joyously spilled over the edge of the bowl with a few fruity sultanas for texture. These are the opening words:

 “You can’t blame the music for what happened. You can’t blame the budget brand vodka or the Walmart brand cola. You can’t blame anyone but me and the great gaping hole I used to know as ME.”

It is the most difficult thing I’ve ever tried to write. It is a totally true story – and they are the hardest.

Now, if any or all of you guys want an advanced review copy of this story please let me know. It’s not quite the usual menu so I’ll be pleased to get comments. 

This story will be out on Kindle during the first week of June.  In the mean time there is a lovely new Facebook page to visit… 

Emma Thinx: Love is blind. Lust just has no sense.  


Death! Plop.


OK Literatti – let’s get down on some poetry. Today I have been busy on a whole new project of compiling and editing a book of poetry on behalf of Gallo-Romano Media. Regulars will have heard me rattling on about my mate Oscar Sparrow whom I have known for many years. He’s a bit kinda prickly to be honest and is a tree book hard-liner. On account of that he’s scuffed along in a bedragglement of small press pamphlets, anthologies and Arts Council artsfarts. (An artsfart is a form of poetry only read by South American ant-eaters)  Eventually I have persuaded him to put out a small collection of his poems via Rosina’s media outfit. Everyone knows that no one reads poetry except other poets and they don’t like it cos they didn’t write it themselves. I’m officially gonna be credited as editor and a small contributor.  He believed that he has sold his soul to the forces of Mammon but he cheered up when we assured him that no one would read it and he wouldn’t get paid. It is at moments like that you know you are in the presence of a true poet. I wish Oscar were my brother so that I could love him.


There was a poet called Theophilus Marzials (1850 – 1920) who is sometimes accused of having written the world’s worst poem. In his day he was a successful writer and it only since his death that the critteratti have spiked into him. Oscar uses this as an argument against having any form of success in this world. Now, I like Theo’s poem and so you know what I’m talking about – here it is.

A Tragedy

Theophilus Marzials

Death! Plop.

The barges down in the river flop.

Flop, plop.
Above, beneath.

From the slimy branches the grey drips drop,
As they scraggle black on the thin grey sky,
Where the black cloud rack-hackles drizzle and fly
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop
On the black scrag piles, where the loose cords plop,
As the raw wind whines in the thin tree-top.

Plop, plop.
And scudding by

The boatmen call out hoy! and hey!
All is running water and sky,

And my head shrieks — “Stop,”
And my heart shrieks — “Die.”

*          *          *          *          *
My thought is running out of my head;
My love is running out of my heart,
My soul runs after, and leaves me as dead,
For my life runs after to catch them — and fled
They all are every one! — and I stand, and start,
At the water that oozes up, plop and plop,
On the barges that flop
                              And dizzy me dead.
I might reel and drop.
                                                Plop.
                                                Dead.And the shrill wind whines in the thin tree-top
                           Flop, plop.
*          *          *          *          *
A curse on him.
                            Ugh! yet I knew — I knew —
If a woman is false can a friend be true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end —

My Devil — My “Friend”

I had trusted the whole of my living to!

Ugh; and I knew!

Ugh!
So what do I care,

And my head is empty as air —

I can do,
I can dare,
(Plop, plop
The barges flop
Drip drop.)

I can dare! I can dare!

And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.

Drop.
Dead.
Plop, flop.

                                              Plop.

Just read on from “slimy branches” through to “thin tree top.” To me it is a poem teeming with drippy droppiness and flappy ploppy flopshiousness. Of course, its absolute lusciousness of vocab kinda does away with the sentiment of TRAGEDY which he is trying to capture. I like it because a guy wrote it when he had trouble with a woman and whatever was going on this trace of of love remains and I am here reading it and talking about it. Theo – you were a man who wrote poems. Time has made you a poet in my heart. Over to to you guys……

More international MARKET people all day talking about what they want the world to do. Is there any further point in the pretence of having meaningful national democratic governments?

Emma thinx: Economic Feudalism – the noble savage serving the savage noble.