Author Archives: emmacalin

Chinese Lantern

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And here I am in France. The great cycle race ended in Paris on Sunday and like so many cycling fans and half the population of France a void has opened before me.  

This year has been one of the most remarkable ever. The two main favourites crashed out in the early stages. The eventual winner was Vincenzo Nibali, a somewhat enigmatic Italian. His top position on the Parisian podium was completely eclipsed by the greater victories of two French riders in second and third places. A French commentator interviewing the champion asked: “Well done for your win of course, but you have to concede you had the strongest team. I imagine you are very proud to have ridden with so many fabulous French riders…”

The diplomatic champion acknowledged their triumph. The studio anchor man told the Nation “We are not chauvinists! We are patriots!”

Chinese Lantern Ji Cheng

For now French cycling is on a high. I’m hoping more young folk will be pulling on their Lycra, shaving their legs and turning away from the cigarettes. Also, Chapeau to the guys who won second and third places -Jean Christophe Peraud and Thibault Pinot. To me they all are heroes and champions particularly the Chinese rider Ji Cheng who was the last guy home. Although technically the red lantern at the back of the field, he was a visible player, often in breakaways. He was a marvel and a credit to China. From my pinnacle of fame as a romantic novelist clinging on in invisibility at the back of the book-bashing peleton, I salute you. 

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/Twl0HcTea68&source=uds

In my day job as an audio editor and producer I have also been immersed in the Tour de France. I have just completed an audiobook narrated by Oscar Sparrow entitled The Tour de France – The Inside Story. Written by Les Woodland, a consummate writer of the polished professional journalistic school, it reflects his own passion for cycling and shares the inside track on those great men who gave birth to the Tour and those who then sustained its legend. It is a fascinating nine-hour account filled with human flavour, foibles and falibility. We did a video clip to show our own way of working on such a project. It’s a great read and an even better listen.

If you want to get a free download of this insight into cycling (worth $19.95/£14.95), whether you’re a fan or not, in exchange for an honest review, leave a message below and I’ll send you your own code for Audible…


Emma Thinx: The French do have a a word for chauvinism




Press 1 for #Film Extras, Press 2 for #Cycle Adventures, Press 3 for The #Brass Section Press 4 For The Very Inspiring #Blogger #Awards

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I would like to thank Caleb Pirtle for nominating me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, which is the subject of my post today, as lifted from my post on Venture Galleries Authors Collection Blog.

Its purpose is both simple and important…
It was designed to introduce authors and particularly readers to other authors who are producing some of the finest blogs on the Web today.  In fact, you should first check out the work of Caleb Pirtle at http://venturegalleries.com/author/calebpirtle/


Here are the rules for the contest:

  • Thank and link back to the amazing person who nominated you.
  • List the rules and display the award.
  • Share seven facts about yourself.
  • Nominate fifteen other amazing blogs and remember to comment on their blogs to let them know you have nominated them. Also, follow the blogger who nominated you.

So, here are my Seven Facts:

  • My right thumb is double jointed and allows me to do some freaky reverse moves that totally gross people out. I discovered this skill when my paternal grandfather showed me his – genes will out!
  • I love the sea and could never imagine living too far from the coast. I always feel rejuvenated after breathing in the salty air. As a child I used to get terrible hay fever and our annual family week at the seaside was often the only respite from sneezing and itchy eyes for the whole summer.

    The prevailing winds on British south coast resorts are from the southwest – very little pollen makes it over from the Americas, so I always associate the sea with feeling healthy. I’m very lucky that both in France and the UK I can reach a number of beautiful beaches in under an hour.

  • Something that I rarely admit to….. in a previous life I helped introduce the UK’s first telephone switchboard with an “automated attendant”. You know and love these things: “Press 1 for this, Press 2 for that” etc. etc. We put hundreds of switchboard staff out of work and speared the way for frustrating “voice mail jail” where you just can’t get through to a live human being. The technology was so exciting and it seemed such a great idea at the time – although the voice-editing skills I learned whilst programming these systems are coming in handy now I’m producing audiobooks! It’s rumoured there is still a hospital in Birmingham, England, where I answer the phone…
  • My family loves cycling.

    But, there is a problem, one needs the right machine for the job. Between mountain bikes, road bikes and tandems we have 18 working bicycles, plus a static exercise bike for the bad-weather days. That’s a lot of lube and tube! My eldest son is cycling the Etape du Tour (the stage of the Tour de France that’s open to the public) in the Pyrenées

    on the 20th July. Bon Courage mon brave. Allez. Allez!

  • I learned to speak french listening to Edith Piaf songs and singing along, imitating her accent – she rolls her rrrrrs like no one else!
  • I play the trombone and appear regularly at local bandstands: I love live music – indoors or outdoors and particularly enjoy opera. As a noisy brass player, my goal is to get tickets to see Richard Wagner’s Ring Cycle performed at Bayreuth – I’ve had my name down for 8 years but still no news…
  • https://www.youtube.com/v/m3eZ61Pqnhs?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata

    I was a film extra in a British who-dunnit series: The Midsomer Murders, in an episode called “The Glitch”. They needed a specialist to play the part of the murder victim – a female prepared to ride on the back of a tandem – well hey now that’s my kinda acting! Unfortunately they said I was too young…. but I could still be an extra as part of a charity bike ride featured in the story. I whizz past a couple of times in the woods – in a yellow fluoro t-shirt. Don’t blink or you’ll miss me!

THE IMPORTANT BIT….


This is where I am listing my own fifteen nominations for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.  You need to find them and read their blog posts as well as their novels. You’ll be glad you did. It’s the most important discovery you will make this year.



HitLit Pro – A new collaboration between #Romance #Authors, #Readers and Promotors @HitLitPro

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I am thrilled to announce my launch day as part of a year-long promotion with Hit Lit Pro and Candle Lit Author Services. Myself and nine other hand-picked authors will be talking about ourselves and our books at various online visits from now though to June next year.

We want to get to know YOU, our readers, and the aim is to getting us all chatting, exchanging ideas, favourite things and everything else we want to talk about…as well as the hope you might be interested in buying some wonderful books, of course!

Make sure you follow us on Facebook and Twitter to see what we’re up to!


There will be giveaways and prizes as well as lots of writerly and readerly chat – I am so honoured to have been picked for this launch.

Happy Reading!

Authors taking part are:

and me ….. Emma Calin

Lunacy, Lance and Lycra

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Hear all about it – lend me your ears.


Wow! What a Tour de France we have had in England. Dense crowds of cheering Brits lined the roadsides. Six million selfies were snapped with the hurtling peleton as a backdrop. 

I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been working at my day job as an audio editor for my company Gallo Romano Media. We picked up a fabulous job to do an audio book all about the Tour de France. I now know things a woman shouldn’t know about what riders used to do with Nivea Cream.(It wasn’t exactly applied where the sponsors intended). I also know a lot more about the history of France and Europe and the juicy scandals and skulduggery surrounding some of the old time stars. Lance has got some catching up to do believe me. 

The book “The Tour de France – The Inside Story” by Les Woodland is brilliant. My man – Oscar Sparrow, did the audio in his performance poet French Italiano mode. To get into the mind set he rode the Tourmalet and the Col de Marie Blanque on a Tacx simulator. Taking the heavy breathing off that track was tough. 

Dropped H – well what ever makes you ‘appy

Getting away from the editing desk on our tandem was wonderful. I had completed a whole twelve miles before I had to take a coffee break in the ultra posh town of Stockbridge in Hampshire. The dropped H from the sign is in honour of my French/Cockney accent. Well – it’s an ‘otel innit. I reckon they took it down for me so that I didn’t feel out of place.

If you’re in to politics, sex, scandal and bikes keep an eye out for out latest audio book which will be out soon. If you fancy winning a free copy click here.



Emma Thinx: Friends, Romans, Cyclists – lend me your rears





We’re Loving It.Go Large!

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Diagram of a Neuropeptide. Is it me or does it look like a sperm?

It’s official. Good Sex is good for you. A new study has shown that the neuropeptide, oxytocin – often dubbed the love or cuddle drug, can help to solve Anorexia Nervosa. 

Let me say that I have had issues with this problem in my family. It is an insidious and deep rooted struggle. It is an assault course of conflict, tears and constant vigilance. It breaks down trust and interpersonal values of openness. It is an issue of self esteem, peer pressure and an idealized image of perfection peddled by people who should know better. There is no cure in my view. You cannot cure a society of what it is. One’s best hope is to survive the different evolutions of society. As a Romance writer I take my share of the blame for creating beautiful heroines (never under size 12) and rugged ridged six packed heroes.

If indeed we are all helpless supplicants at the shrine of Endocrine – well, there it is! So be it! Relax, light a candle,sob
with passion through the Requiem for perfect earthly beauty. A careless finger trace of wind on a field of wheat was always gonna out-gun you anyway. Push the love sauce button and enjoy. Bon apetit and a big love cuddle to all those who ask for more – and more and more…….I’m loving it.



Emma Thinx: Sex – a sport where the pros long to turn amateur.


Corn On The Cob – It’s A Trojan Horse.

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A bitter sweet question of taste.

If one could only offer opinions on things where one had some knowledge I would be forced into silence.  

But what about this genetic engineering business? The French have banned all GM Maize – otherwise known as corn on the cob. Did they think we didn’t realize it was crossed with a horse? Organic commandos have stormed a field armed with spades and bridles.

D and neigh.

Now comes the news that embryos may soon be produced using three parents in order to combat mitochondrial disease. I know we should be concerned but is this anything really new? A close friend of my mother confided that several American soldiers had fathered her war baby shortly before D Day. The child turned out perfect. 

Bacchus to the future

While I was deep in intellectual contemplation of this issue I wandered into ASDA – the thinking woman’s outpost of Walmart. Right before my eyes was the proof that food detectives have sought for years. Yes – grapes developed to look like lemons. You only get four gramons to a bunch. The young lady filling the shelves told me there had been a mistake with the label. Hah! Do they expect me to believe that?



Emma Thinx: There’s no gene more dominant than hunger.





Bargain Books. Words Are Cheap.

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Who am I? What is this Amazon thing?

I have the honour to write features for a “lifestyle” magazine. Recently the editor edged me into a side room. She confided that the trouble with my writing was that I used words. What people actually wanted was more pictures. In a forced outdoor flash I knew where I had been going wrong. For too long I had been trying to walkie-talkie the ball into the net. It was a Eureka moment almost equal to yesterday when David Beckham met an Amazonian Indian who had never heard of him. Dave – chill! No one at Amazon has ever heard of me and I’ve been lost in their jungle for years. 

It’s politics – it’s our National Y Front.


Okay – here is the deal. I’m having a big push to sell some books. This blog has nothing at all to do with David Beckham. If you read this Dave, get in touch for free copies of all my books. We Londoners need to stick together. After all, I’ve always cheered every swerve of your balls.

My own missions along the Amazon have brought little success. These days I have branched out onto all manner of tributaries. It’s great to see that Dave is getting away from football and doing the same thing.

99c/77p/€0,94 for sexy romance novel SHANNON’S LAW this week only…




 Emma Thinx: A word is worth a thousand pictures. It’s your mind.








Euro Politics – Twilight Of The Plods.

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Stark choices on the horizon for Euro politics

My last  sortie onto these pages discussed the disconnection of regular folk from the elite controllers of modern ploditics. Since then there has been a Euro election. In France and Britain the public has voted for nationalistic parties. The following day, the suited supremos of the ruling elite had a Euro conference to decide what is wrong with these people. Why are these dim peasants not grateful? Did they not save them from the economic crisis that these sheep themselves had caused by seeking selfish trash like homes on credit? They only need credit because they’re losers. Why aren’t these morons rich? Everyone who comes to dinner is rich.  How can the spin doctors respond? How can their millionaire sophisticated clique hold on to the power and the lifestyle they deserve?

Politics grows no crops in itself. Fair markets are a balance of toil and need


The elite are so far removed from the lives of working class people that it is useless to highlight their struggles. Truck drivers and zero hour contract fast food workers are worthless schmucks – losers. Until now, few of them had ever voted. Few leaders know anyone real beyond their own domestic servants and chauffeurs.

I am committed to a true functioning Europe of peoples. I live between England and France. In France, I am French. It is their country, their traditions, their law. In England I am English for the same reasons. In Europe we are a union of respectful peoples, not a union of a political elite and their bureaucracies. We want our own identities. I am interesting in France because of my English cuisine and my accent. Why do we have to follow these wretched federalist ambitions of the elite? Why should a bus driver in England have to sell his possessions to afford a useless politically correct training regime demanded by clever- kid office boys in Brussels? Our supreme leaders may wonder what this about? You know – they just don’t get it! They just don’t get it. And the truth is they can’t get it. 

I want a politics and passion for working peoples to float my boat 


I’ve put up some pictures from my home in France. Things grow. The sky is up. The soil is down. The hand of man confronts the sunset. Do we need a federalist Europe to love the difference?





Emma Thinx: Vive la Life. Live la vie.





Ennui and A Dog Called Héros

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Love me and I’ll follow.. A French/ English bull terrier holding out for a hero.

It’s a Sunday and I mean that. It’s an anonymous day here in France. The elections for the European parliament have failed to excite the little town of Saint Savinien. The English side of me awaits the inevitable tsunami of punditry that will slosh unto the shores of both Britain and France when all the votes are counted. Politicos dipped in faux gravitas will spin the results their way regardless of the obvious truths. Groomed ambitious journalists will love themselves and strut their clever university smart-kid questions that evoke no answers. 

 And no one will care.

 The poor folk will drag themselves to pride-less low wage jobs and try to get through to the next pay day in England and in France. The rich will withdraw their wealth from the bank of other’s labour and place it beyond taxation and the concept of community. That’s the way it is. You can’t change anything.

It’s what’s called disconnect. 

It is one of the most unexploited dangerous/exciting forces on this Earth. Apathy is a dam, not a desert.

Only 36% of voters voted in the 2014 local council elections. More importantly 64% of voters did not vote! Duh.  Most politicos are glad. The ugly brutes of the great disconnected class are simply too dangerous, too unpredictable. Just imagine if the great majority of people took an interest in the things that control their lives. Good lord – the show would be unmanageable. You would have to spin so fast you’d be a blur.

I need a direction. Don’t point ! Sweep  me up. Love me.

 The micro-elite in the bubble of simulated angst and outrage that is consensus politics would have to address the politically incorrect weeds and brambles in the perfumed garden of human life. That would be like coming down to the factory floor and soldering a silicone chip, hauling a gearbox off a car engine or the life of a sub-minimum wage nouveau-pauvre Euro driver pushing a truck through the night shift to get urgent Parmigiano  cheese to your delicatessen. 

Just imagine that!!!! Just imagine if one’s limousine wasn’t serviced on time or the private nurse couldn’t soothe the  paper cut on your finger or the wholegrain organic muesli wasn’t on the supermarket shelf. Few modern politicos have the imagination or experience to leap that void.

I know I’m just ranting on. I’ve lived these issues all my life. No one reads this. Most people don’t vote. Even fewer care.


Emma Thinx: Anarchy – the default setting of organised nonchalance.










Yo! Les Choses Insolites

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Surrealist barbecue boogie woogie

I turned on my e-mail this Sunday night expecting nothing but the commercial diet of daily desire enhancement. Par hazard a kind soul had sent me a link to a girl group called the Boxettes. The old Spanish/Parisian surrealists like Bunuel and Dali wrapped themselves in the happenstance of unexpected things – les choses insolites.


Today was warm and some of my family showed up sur le vif and we cobbled together an unexpected barbecue. Oh happy day that has no parent but the sun! Still floating on the red wine languor of a meal in good company, I stumbled on the Boxettes – et voila.  

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/QXvxYCYvNj4&source=uds
Here is some joy of life girl power. 


Emma Thinx: Box clever. Stay outside the box.